Page 3 of Bad Habits
Ifelt like the luckiest bitch in the world to be touring the country with my very best friends. Not only Knox, but the guys in his band, and my two co-singers, Christine and Gina, were like family. Our road crew and Knox’s management team were like extended family. Except for my lying, cheating scum-sucking ex. He was like the creepy cousin no one wanted to talk to.
He’d become the piranha of our group ever since he cheated on me and I sure as shit wasn’t gonna feel bad about that. Far as I was concerned the bastard deserved everything he got and then some. It’s not that I thought he was my soul mate or anything, but still, a little respect would have been nice.
Doing the nasty with a fan he’d invited backstage, in Knox’s dressing room, no less. And Knox had been the one to find them, and tell me… yeah, just about the most humiliating moment of my life. Not that the embarrassment lasted long. It was quickly replaced by the urge to squeeze his balls in a vice until he cried like a little girl.
“Hey, girl.” Gina hip-bumped me. “Love those jeans. Where’d you get ‘em?”
I checked out my butt in the full-length mirror. Not bad. I had a round booty and well it may be fashionable now, I still wasn’t a fan. “Thanks. Got them online. They had other colors if you want me to send you the link.”
She gave me the once-over. “Did they only come in petite?”
I forgot not everyone was barely over five feet, like me. “Yeah, sorry. Guess that wouldn’t work.” My friend had six inches on me, which she loved to tease me about.
“Uh no.” She sat down at one of three vanity tables in the dressing room we shared for the night. “So, you and Auden? What’s the deal?”
Auden and I agreed to keep that between the two of us. But I couldn’t help telling Knox. He was the guy who knew all my dirty little secrets. And he still loved me. That’s the way it was between us. Unconditional love and support, and I’d never had another relationship like it, with a male or female.
To the rest of the world Knox was the guy who dominated the charts, sold out concerts in record time and absconded with all of the gold at every award show. He was also the hard drinking, skirt chasing good time who left a trail of broken hearts in every city. But that was only part of the picture. I knew his heart. His love for his family. His commitment to his friends. How much he gave to causes he believed in. My friend was messy and complicated, but I loved him fiercely.
“I like Auden.” He was the first guy I’d been crushing on in a hell of a long time. It wasn’t like that with Leo. He pursued me relentlessly until he finally wore me down. No butterflies or giddiness with him. Just the quiet resignation that it was worth a try.
Gina snorted as she applied mascara to her long lashes. “Who doesn’t? Hell, he could give our boy Knox a run for his money.”
I had drawn some similarities between the two men but I didn’t know Auden well enough to know if he was in Knox’s league as a human being. Few were, in my experience.
“He’s a great musician,” I conceded, fluffing my hair in the mirror. Some days I’d give anything for sleek straight hair like Gina, but like my mama always said, I had to be happy with what God gave me.
“I’m not talking about that and you know it.” She winked at me in the mirror. “Come on now. I’ve seen the way he looks at you.”
“Who?”
She narrowed her eyes, like she was trying to make sense of me. “Who the hell do you think? Auden!”
“Oh.”
Of course she was talking about Auden. Knox didn’t look at me, or any other woman, that way. He didn’t have to. Women chased him. Not the other way around. Besides, he and I had firmly friend-zoned each other years ago. An arrangement that worked well for us. Most days. There was the occasional pause, like this afternoon, when things got a little weird. Something that felt a hell of a lot like sexual tension passed between us and made me wonder if I was crazy or imagining things.
Gina spun on her stool to face me. “What’s goin’ on with you, girl? You’re not yourself tonight.”
I was usually good at keeping my crazy under wraps, but sometimes my racing thoughts spilled out. That’s when things got messy. I’d always been one to analyze things to death. Made pros and cons lists for everything. So naturally a fling, or more, with a guy I had to see every night for the next three months would warrant a meltdown.
I wasn’t sure where things stood with Auden after our night together. We’d barely seen each other. But when our paths did cross he was flirtatious, like he was still interested and had no regrets. But that didn’t mean he was interested in a repeat either, and I couldn’t straight out ask the man.
“I don’t know.” I shrugged. “Maybe it’s the fact that we’re passin’ through my hometown in a couple of days. Means I’ll have to stop by and see the folks.” That always stressed me out. My parents were good people who loved each other and their kids, but the way they bickered back and forth over every little thing gave me a headache. Reminded me why I’d left their house at nineteen and moved to Nashville to pursue my dreams of becoming a singer.
Things hadn’t worked out too bad for me. I may not be a superstar like Knox, but I got to share a stage with an artist of his calibre every night, which was more than most people could say.
Gina laughed. “I know what you mean. You know my family.” She rolled her finger around her head. “Cra - cra!”
Gina’s family were Italian immigrants, and she had more aunts, uncles, and cousins than anyone I’d ever met. Every time she saw them they harassed her about when she was gonna find a good man, settle down, and have babies. No acknowledgement for all that she’d accomplished professionally, just tongue clucking and finger wagging because she hadn’t done her part to rear the next generation of Caruso’s.
Families. Crazy as hell, but I was still grateful for mine. Both my road family and my biological family. Wouldn’t be all that I am without them.
“Tour’s going well, huh?” I asked, hoping to circle back to a topic that didn’t involve men or my state of mind.
“Yeah, Knox has sounded amazing every night.” Gina applied a coat of nude lip gloss while I plopped down on the stool next to her. “Auden too. Won’t be long before that boy’s headlining his own stadium shows.” She side-eyed me before she asked, “If you two hook-up and he asked you, would you go out on the road with Auden?”
“What?” A hysterical giggle bubbled up. “Are you serious? I could never leave Knox! And you guys! You’re my family.”
