Page 61 of Bad Habits
“You sure I can’t convince you to share?” I guided him down the hall to the guest bedroom I’d been sleeping in. “I’ve been told I can be pretty persuasive.” My hands slipped under his t-shirt, gliding over his defined abs as he sucked in a breath.
He seized my wrists. “Uh, babe. What’re we doin’ here? Shouldn’t we get back to the hospital?”
I reached for his belt buckle, my eyes on his. “Soon. But first I want to show you how much I’ve missed you.”
“Cec, I know how stressed you are about your dad’s surgery…” His head tipped back while his hands closed around my hips. “We don’t have to do this now.”
“I can’t think of a better stress reliever, can you?” Ever since I got that call, I’d been tied up in knots, scared to death and feeling helpless. I needed a distraction. I needed to get lost in Knox’s arms for a while and just pretend everything was normal.
I yanked his t-shirt over his head before pushing him back on the mattress. “I need you.”
“You got me, baby. Always. Whatever you need…”
We were shedding clothes, sharing kisses, confessing how much we loved and missed each other and I was slipping into that bubble I’d hoped to escape to, where Knox and I were the only two people on Earth.
He pulled the covers over us and it felt like we were in our little cocoon as he began to explore my body. Tracing my skin with his lips before swirling his tongue around my nipple, drawing the taut bud into his mouth.
I was lost. Sinking into this river of sensation and shade, as night slowly descended on us, cloaking the small room in a whisper of dusk. His hands were plumping my breasts as his mouth drew whimpers from me, making me plead for more.
His fingers filled me, rhythmically plunging and stroking, until I was digging my nails into his shoulder and capturing my mouth with his. The kiss was hungry and demanding as his hand become more insistent, drawing me closer to the edge until I finally erupted, whispering his name.
“So beautiful,” he said, skimming my cheek with his lips. “I live for this now, watching you fall apart for me.”
That spoke volumes, since a guy like Knox hada lotto live for. “I need you.” I’d never said those words to anyone else, in or out of bed. To me needing someone represented vulnerability, but admitting it to Knox felt right.
“Let me grab my jeans,” he said, sitting up.
I knew he was going for a condom, but I grabbed his arm. “Only if you want to.” It would be the ultimate sign of trust on my part. Most would call it stupidity, given Knox’s history, but I knew in my heart he would never put me at risk. If there was even the slightest chance he could hurt me, he’d insist on protection.
His eyes lingered on mine before he sank back against the pillows. “Sweetheart, this is a big deal. I know you’re on the pill, but—”
“If you’re worried about pregnancy, I—”
“No, that’s not it.” He was on his side, facing me, as he guided my hand to his chest, placing my palm over his heart. “I’d die before I’d hurt you.”
“I know.”
My lips curved as I leaned in to kiss him, to reassure him, that I knew what I was doing. We’d talked about it before, and I knew how much he wanted this. So did I. I wasn’t sure about the future of our relationship, a lot would depend on my father’s condition, but I didn’t want to let Knox go. No matter how hard it was, I wanted to believe we could maintain a relationship, and given his show of faith in us, I wanted to prove to him that I was on the same page. Ready to go all in.
“You’re sure?” he asked, still looking uncertain.
“Are you?” I knew if there was a doubt in his mind he’d air on the side of caution, and I was okay with that, because it meant he was putting me and my well-being first. I couldn’t erase his past, or pretend that he hadn’t lived a lot of life before I came along to shake things up, but from the first time he’d made love to me, I knew it was just the two of us and I didn’t have to worry about anyone else.
He touched his forehead to mine and whispered, “I want this. So much.”
“So do I.” I curled my hand around the back of his neck and held his gaze in mine. “I trust you completely, Knox. I trust you with my body and my heart.” I’d never felt so exposed, but no one had ever made me feel safer.
“It’s crazy,” he said, his voice gritty. “How much I love you. I had no idea I could feel like this. So… sure, that this is right.”
So right.Those were the words echoing in my head as I pushed against his shoulders so he was lying flat on his back when I straddled him. His blue eyes were glittering in the dim light as I claimed him one agonizingly perfect inch at a time. He filled me so completely. Every empty, aching, scarred crevice was overflowing with his love when his body claimed mine.
His hands gripped my hips and he set the pace while we focused on each other. Our bodies were the vessels allowing us to communicate without words as we found a rhythm that sated my hunger. For him. The long and lonely hours when I vacillated between the fear of losing my father or losing Knox, were obliterated as I realized I didn’t have to fear losing him. He wasn’t going anywhere. He was mine. I was his. And no matter what happened, we’d be there for each other.
I could feel the heat rising, the tension coiling as he rocked me, creating that delicious friction that threatened to set me off again.
“So good,” I whispered, letting my head fall back. Total surrender. That’s how I would have described that moment. No fear. No anxiety. No tomorrow. Just complete acceptance of my blessings and the man who righted my world.
“Let go for me, angel.”
