Page 34 of Game Over
Jude had already overshared about her experiences with Jason, so Harper knew her friend’s long-time crush had exceeded her expectations in that department. “I’m so happy for you guys,” she said, smiling. “Seriously, Jason is a great guy. And I know you’ve been crushing on him forever. Maybe it was meant to be.”
“I hope so.” Jude propped her chin in her upturned palm. “I can’t deny the whole living together thing is a little weird, since I’ve never shacked up with a guy before. And it seems like we went from zero to a hundred in sixty.”
Harper frowned. “You’re worried you might be rushing things?” It wasn’t like Jude to second guess herself, so maybe Jason was the one pumping the brakes. Not that she could blame him, in light of his recent divorce.
Jude shrugged. “I don’t know. He wants to take it slow and honestly, so do I. I’ve waited a long time for this guy, so I don’t want to do anything to screw it up.”
“I can definitely relate.” Her heart twisted every time she thought about the years she’d spent without Deke, going through the motions, pretending he couldn’t possibly be as incredible as her memories. But he was. And now she had to figure out what to do about that.
“His goal is to save up some money for a house,” Jude said. “Living with me means he can do that. In the meantime, we’re having fun getting to know each other, hanging out, but who knows what’ll happen when he’s ready to move out, right? Maybe he’ll ask me to move in to the house with him, maybe not. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.”
“Wait and see,” Harper repeated, downing the rest of her drink before holding the glass up for their waiter to see she was ready for a re-fill. “I guess that’s what I’m doing too. I put out a lot of feelers out for jobs before I came here. I’m expecting to start getting some calls or emails requesting interviews any day now.”
“Where’d you apply?”
“Anywhere and everywhere. It’s not like I thought I could get a job here, and I wanted to get as far away from him as I could, so I just scrolled job postings for elementary teachers in different districts, researched the towns and cities, considered the cost of living, and chose the places that looked like they’d be a good fit.”
Jude smiled. “So, just pointed to random places on the map, in other words.”
“Something like that.” She sighed. “When my plans fell apart I just wanted to get the hell out of there, ya know? I wanted to start over somewhere new.”
“So, why’d you come back here?”
She’d questioned her decision the entire trip, but something was guiding her back home. Harper told herself it was her best friend. But now that she and Deke had re-connected, she wondered if it was more than that.
“It’s home.” She looked around the crowded bar, smiling at all the familiar faces. It was the place she’d had her first legal drink. Sang karaoke for the first time. Danced with Deke on the tiny dance floor a hundred times. “Everything about Carlton… it’s just… home. What can I say? It wouldn’t be much to most—”
“But to us it’s everything.” They shared a smile. “I get it, hon.” She squeezed Harper’s hand. “And no matter how long you stay, I’m so glad you’re back, and that we got to have this time together.”
“Me too.”
Leaving her best friend again would be as hard as it had been when she went away to college all those years ago. But leaving Deke again? That scared the hell out of her. They were too old for empty promises and long distance relationships. They weren’t kids anymore. They both wanted marriage and babies, but they couldn’t realize that dream together if her career took her thousands of miles away.
The waiter returned with their re-fills and a basket of nachos they’d ordered before rushing off to tend to another table. It was Thursday night, but the place was humming with regulars.
“What about Deke?” Jude asked, lowering her voice. “Can you really see yourself leaving him again?”
“No.” Harper closed her eyes as she took a sip of her drink. “That’s the last thing I want to do. But I have to be a realist. His business is here. His family. His whole life. He’s not going anywhere. And I didn’t spend years in college, accumulating a fortune in student loans to wait tables in a greasy diner. Besides, I love teaching. Those kids…” Her heart hurt every time she thought about those sweet little faces she’d never see again. “They make me excited to get out of bed in the morning.”
“Sounds like an impossible situation.” Jude’s smile was sympathetic. “So, what’re you gonna do?”
“I have no idea. I guess I’ll just wait until I start to get some responses to the resumes I submitted and go from there.”
“You could try and get something in Denver, right?”
“Yeah, but it’s still like five hours away, Jude. Might as well be on the other side of the world if you’re trying to date.”
“True.” Jude bit her lip. “But…”
Harper knew her best friend too well, and she wasn’t one to hold back. “What? What are you thinking?”
“How can you leave Deke now?”
If she didn’t leave him soon, she was afraid she’d never be able to leave. But she’d committed to looking after Drew for the summer, so it’s not like she could just bail on him. “I don’t know. That’s the problem. If I leave I lose something important to me and if I stay I lose something important to me.” She raised her hand, raising and lowering it. “Deke or my career. It’s an impossible choice.”
“Maybe there’s some other option you haven’t considered.” Jude tipped her drink back before her eyes widened. “Hey, maybe you could open a pre-school right here!” She tapped her hand excitedly on the table. “Think about how awesome that would be! You’d still get to work with kids and you wouldn’t have to leave me and Deke!”
Harper loved her BFF’s enthusiasm, but starting a business now wasn’t even on her radar. She was still drowning in student debt. “This market isn’t large enough to support that. Besides, you’ve heard the stats. Half of new businesses fail in the first year. I can’t afford to fail, Jude. It would freakin’ bankrupt me.” Just thinking about the possibility gave her heart palpitations.
