Page 45 of Payback
“And she’s opening up to you?”
Loran thought about making love to her the night before, the way she’d held him. It felt like her heart was open to him, maybe for the first time. “Yeah, she is.”
She clasped her hands, her eyes sparkling. “That makes me so happy. You’re both wonderful people. If I could play even a small part in bringing you together that would make my last days worthwhile.”
Loran swallowed the lump in his throat. “Please don’t say that, Stella. You know I don’t like to think about that.”
She reached for his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “Death is something we all have to think about, my dear. But you and your young lady have your whole lives ahead of you. So much to plan for.”
Loran responded with a tight smile. It didn’t feel right to think about the future when Stella’s time was so short.
“Don’t you dare be sad for me,” she scolded, shaking a bony finger at him. “You know how I feel about pity.”
“I know, but—”
“No buts,” she warned. “I’m happy here.” Her stern expression softened into a smile. “I know that may sound crazy, but I’ve met some very nice people here. They take good care of me.” She patted his arm. “And if I hadn’t come to live here I wouldn’t have met you and Bella.”
“Did you want to stay at home?” Loran had never asked her that question before. “I mean, if it had been feasible, if you could have gotten someone to come in and care for you at home, would you have wanted to stay?”
She didn’t take even a second to think about it before she shook her head. “There were many wonderful memories in that house. My kids growing up there. Grandkids coming to visit. All the holiday meals and quiet nights just watching TV with my husband.” She shook her head. “I didn’t want that to be the place I died. I think it would have tainted it somehow.” She shrugged. “Besides, I needed the money from the sale of my house to pay for my care. Hopefully there will still be some left for my family, but…”
Loran’s heart broke for her. She shouldn’t have to worry about those things in her final days. “You shouldn’t have to worry about them now.” From what he could tell they weren’t too worried about her and that pissed him off. A woman like Stella should have loved ones lined up to spend time with her.
“Besides,” she said, looking out the window. “I do enjoy being here. The grounds are lovely. The bird feeders, flowers, pond.” She smiled. “It’s all very peaceful. And the people have been so good to me.”
“It would be hard not to love you.”
This conversation made him realize it had been too long since he called his mother. Maybe he was no better than Stella’s family. He too got busy with life and forgot about the person who’d sacrificed everything for him. Tonight he would call her, remind her how much she meant to him.
She pulled a lavender and aqua floral journal out of the side pocket of her bag. “When I pass I’d like you to have this, dear. It’s my final journal. I think it will give you peace, knowing how very content I was in my final days. Perhaps you won’t feel so sad about my passing if you know how much happiness you brought me.”
Loran was overwhelmed. It was hard to imagine a day when he wouldn’t be able to visit Stella. “Thank you,” he whispered, knowing there was no point arguing that her gift to him was too personal, or should go to one of her family members. “I appreciate that.”
“And I,” she said, gripping his hand, “Appreciate you. So very much.”
His cell phone buzzed, letting him know he had a text, but he didn’t glance at the screen. Time with his friend was precious and he gave her his undivided attention when they were together.
“See who it is,” she said, her eyes sparkling. She had clearly read the text when it flashed across the screen.
He picked it up and read Bella’s message. “Bella wants me to have dinner with her and her family tonight.” Even though he’d dined with them plenty of times before, he knew this was different. She was obviously ready to tell her parents about them.
“That’s wonderful.” She paused when he didn’t agree. “Isn’t it?”
“I love Bella’s family. They’re great people. But I’m not sure how her parents will feel about us. I mean, I know they like me, as a person, but they also know a bit about my history. What if they don’t think I’m good enough for their daughter?”
She frowned. “You’re really worried about that?”
“Yeah, I am.” Bella meant everything to him and it would kill him if she started having second thoughts about them because her parents planted seeds of doubt in her mind. “Our relationship still feels really fragile. And this feels like the kind of thing that should maybe wait until we’re on more solid ground.”
“She wouldn’t have invited you if she had any doubts. If you decline her invitation she’s going to think you’re the one with doubts.” She pursed her lips, letting him know she didn’t approve of his wavering. “Is that the message you want to send to the woman you love?”
“No, but—”
“I didn’t think so.” She pointed to his phone. “So you text that girl back and tell her you can’t wait to have dinner with her and her family. You stop somewhere and find the most decadent dessert and beautiful flowers you can and you show up to their house and let them see the truth.”
“What’s that?” he asked, feeling his stomach knot with tension. It felt like there was so much riding on this evening and he didn’t want to screw it up.
“That you’re in love with their daughter,” she said, gently. “That you’ll only have eyes for her, as long as she’ll have you. You’ll treat her like the princess you believe her to be and would be honoured if you were the man she chose to be her husband and the father of her children.”
The knot in Loran’s stomach gave way to calm and assuredness. Stella was right. He just had to let them see what was in his heart.
“If you let them see the man Bella has helped you to become they’ll forget all about the guy you used to be, sweetheart. Trust me, what you’ve done in the past won’t matter to them nearly as much as what you’ll do in the future… for and with their daughter.”
