Page 34 of Payback
Chapter Eight
Waking up in Loran’s arms was the best feeling Bella had experienced in forever. She never wanted to move. Unfortunately, she had work to do, so she tried to slip out of bed without waking him. She’d followed him to his house last night so her car was waiting for her. She’d just have to run home to shower and change before heading to the office.
“Where do you think you’re going?” he asked, wrapping his arm around her wrist. “You weren’t thinking about sneaking out on me again, were you?”
This time was nothing like the last time she’d bailed on him. Then she’d panicked. This morning there was no trace of fear, just contentment, after their night together. “I didn’t want to wake you,” she said, leaning in to kiss him.
“I would’ve lost it if I’d woken up and you were gone again.” His expression was serious when he said, “Don’t do that, Bell. Don’t leave me like that again.”
“I won’t.” She didn’t realize that was still a sore spot for him, but now that she knew she’d try to be more considerate in the future. “I have to get to work. But first I have to run home and shower.”
“Let me make you breakfast. You can shower here.”
“I can just grab a muffin and coffee at the café in my building. That’s what I normally do.”
He frowned. “I can make you a cheese omelet with fresh fruit and toast while you’re in the shower. Doesn’t that sound better? Besides, it would give us more time together.”
She wasn’t big on morning-after talk, but she could tell it was important to him so she said, “Okay, if you’re sure you don’t mind?”
“Don’t mind?” He scowled while drawing her face closer to his. “Let’s get one thing straight. You’re mine now. That means I get to take care of you.”
Whoa! Where had that come from?
She laughed lightly while tapping his chest with her palm. She didn’t want to make too much of his statement, but knew she’d have to let him know how she felt about being a man’spossession.
“I’m yours? Perhaps you’d like to rephrase that?”
“You’remygirlfriend,” he said, as though it should be obvious. “You’re mine, just like I’m yours.”
She supposed she could live with that, as long as it went both ways. But she wasn’t big on labels. Girlfriend inevitably led to fiancé and the thought of marriage still scared the hell out of her.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, frowning. “You’re not good with that?”
“The commitment part, yes.” She didn’t want to upset him, but she wasn’t going to bury her feelings just to make him feel better either. That was no way to start a relationship. “But I still want us to take things slow.”
“What does that mean?”
“I want to spend time with you, getting to know you better. Dates, sleepovers, all that I’m good with. But that’s all for now.”
“Meaning you’re not ready to move in with me. You want to maintain your independence, your own life.”
She could tell he wasn’t happy with her ground rules, but he’d have to learn to live with them if this was going to work.
“Look,” she said, curling her hand around his bicep when he folded his arms over his powerful chest. “I know you’re not used to women wanting to take it slow with you. You’re probably used to girls who are ready to move in after the second date. But that’s not me.” She tried to keep her tone gentle when she said, “I can take care of myself and I like my life the way it is. I love my house and my job, my friends and my family. I didn’tneedthis relationship to fill a void in my life.”
His jaw was tense and he was staring straight ahead when he said, “Good to know.”
“That doesn’t mean I don’t want it. I do.” She sighed when he refused to look at her. “I just need time to get used to the idea. All of my relationships have been pretty casual up to this point and it sounds like you’re looking for… more.”
He narrowed his eyes when he looked at her. “You know I’m looking for more. I have zero interest in keeping things casual with you. I thought I made that clear even before we slept together.”
“You did and I’m good with that. Honestly, I am. But that doesn’t mean I’m ready to get serious right away.” She could tell she was screwing this up and the last thing she wanted was to leave with tension in the air, especially after the incredible night they’d shared.
He looked stunned when he said, “This is already serious for me. I thought you felt the same way.” He shook his head. “I don’t get you. You know how I feel about you. You know how much I want this, yet you’re still playing games. What the hell are you afraid of?”
“I’m not afraid of anything!” This was going from bad to worse. “And I’m not playing games with you. I’m trying to be honest with you about how I feel. Would you prefer I lie or allow you to pressure me into something I’m not ready for?”
“Is that what you think I’m doing? Pressuring you?”
