Page 70 of Payback
“I want the man who showed me what an incredible husband he could be by loving me with his whole heart.”
She watched him shed his boxers before lifting her up and placing her on the quartz counter behind her, her back to the mirror.
“I want the man who made me want kids because every time he talked about them his face lit up, like being a daddy would make his life complete.”
His kiss was deep, his hands plunging into her hair as he held her head, exploring her mouth.
Her legs were wrapped around his waist, her ankles locked at the base of his spine. “I want that man, Loran. And with or without baseball you’ll always be that man. That’s the man I love, the one I want to spend the rest of my life with.” She’d never been so vulnerable… or felt so secure. She wasn’t afraid to express her feelings to him because he made her feel safe, like there was nothing she couldn’t tell him.
He lowered his head, like he felt humbled by her words. “You make me feel like the guy I’ve always wanted to be.”
She smiled as she wrapped her hands around his face, forcing him to look her in the eye. “Babe, that’s the guy you’ve always been. You just needed me to help you see that. Now that you do I’m never going to let you forget it.” She kissed him, wishing it was possible to pour all of her love for him into that simple act, so he could experience the depth of her feelings for him.
“I’m never going to let you forget that you don’t need baseball to make your life complete. Your life is already complete, with or without baseball. It’s a part of you, for sure. A small part. And when you don’t have that anymore you’ll find something else, something you’re equally as passionate about, because that’s who you are, someone who gives everything he has to life and the people he loves.”
And she felt blessed to be counted among the people he loved.
“You make me believe that.” His caress was reverent, his lips barely skimming the contours of her face as he whispered, “You’re the first person who’s ever made me believe that life after baseball can be incredible.” His lips tipped up in a half-smile. “Never thought I’d say this, but I’m kind of looking forward to retirement now.”
She laughed. “Then my work here is done.”
“Not quite.” His look was sultry. “There’s still the business of letting your man show his appreciation for all you’ve done for him. For helping him get his head right.”
Her eyes trailed down his body and the teasing glint in her eyes spoke volumes about what she thought of his double entendre.
She pushed him back a step and slid off the counter before slipping her panties off. She was the first to step in the shower, leaving the glass door open for him. The water was beating down on her, washing away the stresses of the day, but nothing could have soothed her like the sight of the man joining her.
He was so strong, a looming presence that would have intimidated most people, but made her feel safer than she ever had. Life had never been the same since she’d been victimized. She spent it looking over her shoulder, wondering if someone would jump out of the bushes to finish what her ex started the night he’d left her for dead. But being with Loran washed all those worries away because she knew he would never let anyone hurt her.
He told her he’d lay down his life for her and she believed him. Wholeheartedly.
He reached for the lavender liquid soap she’d set in the shower earlier, along with her shampoo. He poured some into his hands and rubbed them together before letting them trail all over her body.
Bella turned around, giving him her back. She sighed contentedly when he massaged her shoulders, and she felt the day’s fear and tension gradually slipping away under his masterful touch.
When the water washed the soap away he kissed her neck, her shoulder, her collarbone, letting his tongue trail over her slick skin.
She wanted him now, but had to suppress a sigh when he reached for the shampoo bottle. Apparently he was intent on taking care of her first and she couldn’t claim to mind. No man had ever treated her the way Loran did. Like she was his princess.
Her eyes drifted closed as his hands moved over her scalp, rubbing the sweet smelling shampoo into her long dark hair. “My turn,” she whispered, reaching for the body wash. Once she’d poured the soap into her palms her hands glided over his body, relishing every dip and curve. His body was perfection and being able to explore it so thoroughly felt like a decadent treat. One she would have the pleasure of re-discovering for the rest of her life.
Once they had finally tended to every inch of each other’s bodies he claimed her mouth, backing her into the marble wall. The shower floor was slippery, but he stabilized her body with his, pining her with his weight. It felt wonderful, being totally surrounded by him.
He entered her slowly, giving her time to adjust. She was in no hurry tonight. Not after the sleepless night she’d had wondering if she would ever have this experience with him again. She wanted them to take their time, to take what they needed from each other.
“I love you so much,” he whispered in her ear, finding the tempo that made her breathless. “I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Bella.”
“You will.” She had no doubt about that.
“I know.”
It was knowing they were both finally secure in what they had that allowed her to let go, to surrender in a way she never had before. Sex with Loran had always been the best of her life, but there was something different about it tonight. Something had shifted in both of them.
When she looked into his eyes as he made love to her she could tell he felt it too.
“Forever,” he whispered against her lips. “You’re my forever, Bell.”
And that, she realized, was the change. They’d finally found their forever in each other’s arms.
