Page 45 of Sticks and Stones
“You must be looking forward to her visit,” Gunnar said, his smile strained.
Her parents had never been Gunnar’s biggest fans. They thought he was a selfish egomaniac who cared more about money and the limelight than he did about his family. But they didn’t know him like she did. They’d never seen his softer side.
“I am. It’ll be nice to catch up.”
“Does she, uh, know that I was out there to spend some time with you guys?”
“Yeah, Ramsey told her.” She knew her mother would pepper her with questions about Gunnar’s visit as soon as she walked through the door. “I kind of wished she hadn’t to be honest.”
“You don’t want your mother to know I’m back in your life?”
“Are you…? Back in my life?”
“What kind of question is that?” He glared at her. “When I left, you knew the plan. I was going back home to make things right, to—”
“You don’t owe me an explanation.” Gunnar’s freedom had always been paramount to him. Because of the way he’d grown up, he was a stickler about calling his own shots and not having to answer to anyone. Another reason he’d refused to marry her, she assumed.
“Is this about that photographer? Are you having second thoughts because of him?”
“What does Billy have to do with this?”
“You tell me.”
She didn’t know if she should be pissed or flattered that he finally seemed to care after years of indifference. “There’s nothing to tell. We’re friends, that’s all.”
“Oh yeah? Does he know that? Does he know we slept together?”
“Why would I tell him that?” She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Gunnar didn’t have a possessive bone in his body. And even if he did, she couldn’t believe he’d ever be jealous of someone like Billy. “My sex life is none of his business.”
“Maybe he needs to know that you’re taken.”
“Taken?” She felt heat flood her cheeks as she tried to tamp down her anger. “Taken? What the hell am I? Another one of your possessions? I’m off the market now that you’ve staked your claim?” She didn’t want to fight with him, but if they were ever to get back together, there was going to be some ground rules this time because she wasn’t putting up with anymore of his crap.
“That’s not what I meant and you know it.” He ran his hand through his collar-length hair as he sighed heavily. “I just want us to… I mean I want everyone to know that we’re…”
“That we’re what?” She wanted to hear him say they were a couple again. Then she could ask how he intended to make that happen with a thousand miles between them.
“Dammit, Gi. Why’re you making this so hard for me? You know I’m not good at expressing my feelings.”
“You know what I think?” She stared at the screen, waiting for him to look at her. “I think that’s a cop-out. Sure, your childhood sucked. I get that. But I think you use that as an excuse to avoid emotional attachments because they scare you. I scare you, what you feel for me scares you.”
“You’re right, it does.”
She expected him to laugh in her face, not agree with her. “You don’t think I was scared? I was in love with a man who was the object of every woman’s fantasies. You were on the road more than you were home, and you made it clear you didn’t want to marry me.”
“Was?”
“What?”
“You said youwerein love with me. Past tense.”
She couldn’t believe he’d gleaned that one little word from her tirade. “You know what I mean.”
“No I don’t.” His eyes were pleading with her when he whispered, “I can’t do this unless I know for sure that you still love me.”
“Do what?”
“I can’t let myself…” He shook his head. “I just can’t.”
