Page 66 of Sticks and Stones
“No, I mean Ireallylove you.” Saying it now made him wonder how he’d managed to hold those words back so long. Now they seemed to spill from him without warning, and he knew he couldn’t contain them even if he wanted to. His love for her was a part of him, that best part, and he planned to make sure she never forgot it.
“You’re mine, you know.” She curled her arms around his neck, resting her bent elbows on his shoulders as she thrust her hands in to his hair. “I’ve shared you with the rest of the world too long. I’m done sharing.”
He grinned as he let her down gently, making sure her legs weren’t too wobbly to support her weight when her feet hit the floor. “I’m good with that.” The idea of belonging to someone else had never sat well with him. Just as the idea of claiming Gianna as his own never came to fruition. Not because he didn’t want the world to know she was committed to him. He wanted that more than anything, but he foolishly told himself you could never lose something you’d never really had.
He shook his head at his asinine thoughts as he handed her the clothes she’d left on the peg before reaching to collect his from the ground.
“Tell me what you’re thinking,” she said, watching him pensively. “And don’t you dare say nothing. I can practically see the wheels turning.”
“I was just thinking that I was my own worst enemy. I let my own crazy thoughts dictate my actions, and as a result, I almost lost the best thing that ever happened to me.” He kissed her. “You.”
“We had to go through this, you know.” She bit her lip. “Things couldn’t have gone on the way they were. It was killing both of us.”
He pulled his T-shirt over his head before refastening his jeans and belt. “So, you always knew I’d come after you, huh?” He grinned. “How could I not, right?”
“I didn’t know for sure,” she said, fastening her bra before pulling the straps up and over her shoulders. “I just knew that if you loved me half as much as I loved you that you would.”
There was still something eating away at him. Before he would have tried to ignore it, but he didn’t want to do that this time. If he and Gianna were going to have a real relationship, built on honesty and trust, he had to know. “You said you stopped loving me. When?”
She stepped past him and reached for her jacket, clutching it against her chest. “That’s a difficult question to answer. There are different kinds of love, right? There’s passionate love, where you can’t get enough of the other person, and there’s companionable love where you’re content to share your life with the other person. Then there’s love borne of friendship and mutual respect.”
“Dammit, Gi. Don’t even think of putting what we have in that category.” He scowled. “I definitely do not want to be in the friend zone.”
“For me, it moved through all three phases with you.” She smiled, touching his face. “In the beginning, I was on cloud nine. I couldn’t believe I was sharing my life withtheGunnar Williams. It blew my mind that you chose me.”
“Oh yeah?” He grabbed her by the waist, tugging her body against his. “Well, it blew my mind that you chose me.”
She stared into his eyes as though she’d been transported back to another time. “Then the girls were born, one right after another almost, and I was so busy, so caught up in being a new mom. But I never lost sight of how lucky I was that you were their dad. That was that contentment phase.”
He was happier than he’d ever been when the girls were young. Their little faces lit up every time he walked into the room and they ran to him and reached out, begging to be picked up. It made him feel ten feet tall.
“Then, as the years went on and they got older, the problems in our relationship became more apparent to me.” Her eyes darkened with sadness and he hated knowing he was the reason. “Or maybe it was just that they didn’t need me as much… and I realized you didn’t either.”
“That’s not true.” The words sounded gritty, forced, because they were forced. Past the lump in his throat. “Don’t ever think I didn’t need you.”
She shrugged. “I still cared about you and wanted to make it work, but one day I realized I was only staying because I liked and respected you, because we had so much history and you were their father. It wasn’t because… we couldn’t live without each other anymore.” Her eyes captured his, her voice low when she said, “I wanted a man who couldn’t live without me.”
“You’ve got that, Gi. ’Cause I can’t live without you and I don’t ever want to try again.”
Tears spilled down her cheeks and she sniffled self-consciously. “You know how long I’ve waited to hear you say that… that you can’t live without me? For so long it felt like our relationship was so one-sided because you wouldn’t tell me what you were thinking or how you were feeling. Now I finally feel like the scales have tipped and we’ve found our balance.”
“I couldn’t agree more.” He kissed her as the smile spread across his lips. He couldn’t help it. They were going to be okay and that made everything in his life look better. “So, now that we’ve got that settled, why don’t we call and check in on the girls, then meet up with your friends at the inn for a drink?”
“Are you sure you want to do that?” she asked, looking concerned. “Don’t you want to talk some more about that call or—”
“No, not tonight.” He turned, linking her hand through his as he brought it to his lips. “But before we go, I want to give you a quick tour.” He chuckled. “And believe me when I say it will be quick. There’s not much to see.”
The previous owner had left the utilities on, so at least he was able to turn the lights on as they moved from room to room.
First, he showed her the living room with wall-to-wall windows that overlooked the lake. He pointed to the stone fireplace, which extended from floor to ceiling. “I think that’s my favorite feature.”
“I can see why.” She looked up. “But I love these high ceilings too. Makes it feel so much bigger than it actually is.”
“Is it crazy to you that I’d buy a tiny place like this, after living in our house for so many years?”
“Not crazy at all.” She released his hand to put her arm around his waist, tucking her hand in his back pocket. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but that big mansion never felt like you. This does.”
He couldn’t agree more. He’d bought that house because he could afford to and he thought that’s where guys like him where supposed to live. But a place like this… it was the kind of comfortable little home he’d always prayed for when he was a little boy.
