Page 58 of Sticks and Stones
“The reason I’m telling you all this now is because I don’t want you to feel abandoned.” He reached for both of their hands as his eyes filled with tears. “I don’t want to discount your feelings ’cause God knows you have a right to them. But I know what it feels like to be abandoned and I’d never want to make either of you feel that way.”
He drew a shuddering breath as he pulled both of their hands against his chest. “I messed everything up. I own that. But I’m trying to make things right. I swear I am. Just know that I gave as much of myself as I could possibly give you. Always. I didn’t hold back with you guys. It may not have been enough, but it was all I had at the time.”
Ramsey laid her head on his shoulder and put her free arm around his neck. “You must have done alright, Daddy. ’Cause we still love you like crazy. Right, Kee?”
Gunnar held his breath as he waited for her response, knowing their love was one of the greatest gifts he’d ever received.
“I’m sorry, Dad,” Keegan whispered as tears spilled down her cheeks.
“Sorry for what?” he asked, wiping away her tears with his thumb after releasing their hands. “You have nothing to be sorry for. I’m the one—”
“You gave us everything,” Keegan said, clearing her throat. “And instead of being grateful for that, I focused on the one thing you couldn’t give us. I never asked myself why or considered the fact you were doing the best you could. That’s why I’m sorry.”
“I’m not even sure I deserve you guys,” he said, feeling hot tears burning his eyes. “But I thank God every single day that I get to be your dad. And I swear I’m going to try to do better from now on. I’m not gonna miss out on the important stuff anymore. I’m going to put you first and—”
“Can I make a suggestion?” Ramsey asked, smiling through her tears. “How about you try putting Mom first this time? We’d understand.”
Gunnar chuckled, thinking his teenage daughters were a hell of a lot smarter than he was. It was a good thing he had them to give him advice. “Deal,” he said, kissing the top of Ramsey’s head as he brought her in for a hug.
***
Gianna had been all over town that day. A few private residences, the hospital, nursing home, even the local veterinarian’s office. Apparently, it was the vet’s birthday, so her husband sent her flowers.
By the time she got home, the last thing Gianna wanted to think about was making dinner, so the sight of Gunnar moving around her kitchen while the scent of a rich tomato sauce wafted through the air made her want to kiss him.
“I hope you don’t mind that I made myself at home?” he asked, coming toward her with a glass of white wine.
“You’re a saint,” she said, letting her head fall to his shoulder as he wrapped his strong arms around her. “God, I’ve missed you.”
“I missed you too, baby.” He kissed her cheek, then that sensitive spot beneath her ear, making her shiver. “I was thinking we could have some dinner, then maybe go for ice cream and I could show you and the girls my new place.”
“I’d love that, but I think they both have tests this week. They really should stay home and study. Maybe they could see it this weekend?”
“Sure, there’s no hurry.” He grinned. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“Hmmm.” She stood on her tippy-toes to kiss him. “I like the sound of that.”
“Then you’re not freaked out that I made all of these decisions without talking to you first?” he asked, settling his hands on her hips. “’Cause I wouldn’t blame you if you were. I want us to be a team, to make decisions together, and that means asking your opinion before I commit to something.”
Gianna was touched, especially since he used to commit to tours where he’d be away from home for months without thinking twice. “Wow, you really are turning over a new leaf, aren’t you?”
“I have to,” he said, looking serious. “The bonehead decisions I made before cost me everything. I’m not going to let that happen again.”
She smiled. I love youwas on the tip of her tongue, but she couldn’t force the words past her lips. She did love him. There was no question in her mind about that. But in the past she’d said it only to be met with a blank stare and deafening silence. She couldn’t risk that kind of rejection again.
“So, what are you making for dinner?” she asked, stepping past him as she sipped her wine. “It smells wonderful.”
“Baked ziti.” He chuckled at her look of surprise. “Rich made it on the tour bus one night. It didn’t look so hard, so I thought I’d give it a try. I tasted it and it’s pretty good actually.”
“Well, I’m starving,” she said, setting her glass on the counter. I think I’ll go say hi to the girls and get changed, unless you need some help.”
“No, I’ve got it under control.” He grabbed her hand before she could get away. “Uh, I know this is going to make me sound like an immature, insecure jerk, but I have to ask. Has that Billy guy been bugging you? Levi told me he was in your shop when he stopped by.”
She was so used to complete indifference from Gunnar. His jealous side would take some getting used to. “Honestly? He heard you left town and wanted to know if I was alright.”
“Ugh, let me guess. He offered you a strong shoulder to cry on, right?”
“Nothing like that,” she said, trying to keep a straight face at his look of irritation. “He just thought I might need a friend.”
