Page 47 of Sticks and Stones
Chapter Thirteen
Gunnar agonized over his conversation with Gianna the previous night. He’d tossed and turned thinking about it. He needed more from her. Why couldn’t she see that? He needed… a guarantee. The irony wasn’t lost on him. He was asking her for assurance, confirmation of her love for him, when she’d been asking him for the exact same thing all those years in the form of a wedding ring.
He was sitting in his manager’s office, waiting for him to finish up with a meeting in his boardroom. Gunner looked at all the photos lining the credenza. Pictures of Reg with his wife and four kids. Family vacations. Holidays. Parties. Somehow, in the midst of making a fortune and ensuring his clients did the same, he’d managed a real life… with a family who loved and respected him.
“Hey,” Reg said, walking into the room as he spread his arms when he spotted Gunnar. “There he is. I thought you’d bailed on me. What the hell? You don’t return my calls anymore?”
Gunnar shook his hand and they brought it in for a half hug. Reg was technically old enough to be his father and he’d served as the only paternal figure Gunnar had ever known. “I’m sorry about that. Just had to work some things out with Gi and the kids.”
“Say no more,” he said, raising his hands as he sat behind the desk. “Family first. No one knows that better than I do.”
“That’s why I’m here, Reg. I haven’t been putting my family first and I need to start.”
He paled beneath his perma-tan. “Why do I feel like I might need a drink for this conversation?” He jumped up, crossing the room to his kitchenette. “Can I get you something?”
“No, thanks.” He suspected his old friend was just trying to delay hearing his news. But he understood that. If he could hit rewind so he didn’t have to hear all the things Gianna said to him last night, he would have.
When Reg was seated behind his desk again, Gunnar said, “You know this hasn’t been an easy year for me. Losing Gi and the kids really did a number on me. It made me rethink a lot of things in my life, namely my priorities.”
Reg gripped his crystal glass before taking a deep swallow of the amber liquid. “I feared this may be coming. I could tell your heart wasn’t in it these past months.”
Then Reg knew him better than he knew himself because Gunnar never thought it would come to this. “You figured it out a long time ago, man.” He gestured to the pictures behind Reg. “You knew family was the most important thing and you didn’t let anything, not even your work, get in the way of that. I didn’t realize it until it was too damn late.” His daughter’s words came back to haunt him as she accused him of never being there for them.
“It’s never too late to make things right, my friend.”
“I lost them, Reg,” Gunnar said, trying to make him understand. “Maybe for good. But even if they’re willing to give me another chance, how do I make up for all the years I wasn’t there?” He knew Gianna was reluctant to give him another chance because he’d let her down so many times. And he couldn’t blame her. He would have felt the same way in her position.
“You can’t make up for the past, son.” Reg’s smile was grim when he said, “We all make mistakes we have to live with, but we can’t let them define the rest of our lives.”
“I’m trying to figure out how to do right by them.” He stretched out, crossing his long legs in front of him. “One thing I do know, I can’t do it from half-way around the country, buddy.”
“Okay, what are you saying? You plan to take a hiatus from the studio? If that’s it, I could probably meet with the label and push the album out—”
“It’s more than that. I need a break from life. This life.” He wasn’t sure he ever wanted to return tothislife, but it would be stupid to burn his bridges. It was one thing to cut ties with his band. He knew they weren’t in the same place musically anymore. But Reg and the label represented all types of artists, all kind of genres.
“What does that even mean?” Reg asked, downing his drink.
Gunnar knew his old friend was putting out fires one after another while battling an ulcer, and he hated to add to the drama in his life, but he had to be honest. “I’ve been working hard, for a hell of a long time, and while I’ve loved every minute of it, I need to shift my focus now. I want Gianna and the girls back. I want to be the kind of father and partner my career has prevented me from being.”
“Partner?” Reg asked, raising an eyebrow. “So, Gianna’s willing to take you back?”
“I don’t know.” He crossed his arms after scraping his hands over his face. “I thought we were getting closer, but it’s pretty obvious she’s as confused as I am about where we go from here. The best thing for me to do would probably be to move closer to them, though not in the same house, and try to rebuild the relationships I’ve destroyed.”
“You’re going to move to some piss-ant town in the middle of nowhere?” Reg scoffed. “You can’t be serious. That’s not your style.”
“Maybe it’s time for me to change my style. Because honestly, this doesn’t feel like a good fit for me either.”
“What doesn’t?”
“This lifestyle.” Gunnar thought about his visit to Levi’s place. He seemed so content living in that sprawling house in the middle of nowhere, working from home, playing by his own rules and interacting with people when he chose to. “I need more space. More time. More… solitude, I guess.”
When Reg shot him a side-long look before shaking his head, Gunnar explained, “I like being able to walk down the street without being accosted by the Paparazzi and autograph seekers. I like the idea of being able to make friends with people who don’t have an agenda.”
“And you really think you can find that in…?”
“Vista Falls.” Gunnar smiled when he thought of the little town Gianna called home. “Yeah, I really do.”
“Okay, so what does this mean for your career? You can’t be thinking about retiring. You’re too damn young for that. You’d go crazy without your music.”
