Page 27 of Sticks and Stones
“I didn’t see how anything could change. You were you. The same man I’d been with all along, but suddenly, I changed and what we had wasn’t enough for me anymore. It wasn’t fair to ask you to change because I wasn’t even sure you could.”
“So you left.”
“So I left.” She sighed. “Believe me, it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I didn’t want to tear our family apart, but I had to think of Ramsey and Keegan. They’re not babies anymore and they were learning by example. They were seeing the way we interacted and they’d come to believe that was normal.”
But even he knew it wasn’t. Couples who were truly in love and committed to each other weren’t afraid to express it, whether it be with words or a ceremony and ring.
“I want them to eventually have boyfriends who love and appreciate them and aren’t afraid to express that. I don’t want them to go chasing after some boy, trying to get him to love them.”
He didn’t want that for his daughters either. He wanted them to find the kind of man he’d never had the strength to be.
“I know this is hard to hear—”
“It is,” he said, brushing his lips across hers. “But I need to hear it, Gi. We need to talk about this stuff. I wasn’t able to hear you before, but I am now. I’m here and I’m not going anywhere until you tell me I need to.”
“I’m afraid to believe that,” she whispered. “That you aren’t going anywhere. This feels like a vacation from real life. I keep expecting you to wake up, get a call, and tell me you have to go, that you have to get back to the life you left behind.”
“I left that life behind for a reason,” he said, praying she believed him. “Because it wasn’t working for me anymore. Not without you.”
“I’m not sure that life could ever work for me again though. I don’t think I want to go back there, Gunnar.”
He knew it wasn’t easy for her to admit and he appreciated her honesty. “I understand that.” Given the sweet and simple life she had now, he couldn’t blame her. “And if we can work through all of our issues and decide we want to be together, for the long haul, we’ll figure something out.” He didn’t want to give up his music, but he couldn’t give up his family.
Not again.
