Page 19 of Sticks and Stones
Chapter Six
Gunnar was still trying to process what Gianna said when he stumbled upstairs to check on his daughters. Was he being selfish, trying to get her back because it was what he wanted? What about what she wanted? Didn’t he owe it to her to put her feelings first for once?
“Hey, kiddo,” Gunnar said, peeking his head in Ramsey’s half-open door. “How’s the homework going?”
“Okay,” she said, closing the book she’d been reading. “We’re readingWuthering Heightsfor English.”
“Ah, I remember Heathcliff.” He grinned. “The hateful bastard. Reminds me of myself in a lot of ways. Selfish, manipulative—”
“Miserable because he lost the love of his life?” Ramsey asked, hopefully. “Is that why you’re really here, Dad? Because you want Mom back?”
He sat down at the end of her double bed, looking at a photo collage of her old friends above her writing desk. “I miss everything about our old life,” he said, letting the mask slip as the melancholy crept into his voice. “Well, maybe not everything. Back then, I was hardly ever there. The past couple of days I’ve spent here with you guys have been good for me.” He curled her hand around her sock-clad foot. “Good for my soul, ya know?”
“Have you been lonely?” she asked, biting her lip. “Since we moved out?”
“Sure have.” He saw no reason to sugar-coat it. She was old enough to hear the truth. “I’ve been miserable, in fact. The things that used to matter to me, like making new music, touring, making all that money…” He shrugged. “I don’t know, Ramsey. That stuff just doesn’t seem as important any more.” He smiled, hoping to ease her anxious expression. “Hey, don’t look at me like that, sweetheart. It’s not like I’m depressed. I haven’t given up on life or anything.”
“I’m glad to hear that,” she said, blowing out a breath. “You know my friend back home… Lindsay?”
“Yeah. What about her?”
“Her dad tried to kill himself a couple of months ago. No one’s supposed to know, but she told me. Apparently, he’d been depressed for a long time and one day he just took a bottle of pills. Left them a suicide note and everything.”
“That sucks,” he said, remembering the sullen man he’d met at a few school events. “I hope he’s getting help.”
“I think so.” She bit her lip. “You sure you haven’t been that kind of sad since we left?”
“No, baby.” He gave her a reassuring hug. “I’d never do anything like that. I have too much to live for, too much to look forward to, like you girls graduating, getting married, having kids of your own.”
She wrinkled her nose. “Ugh, that’s a long way off, Dad.”
“Okay, how about getting your driver’s license and your first boyfriend then?”
“Now that I’m looking forward to,” she said, grinning.
“I hate that I won’t be around to vet those boys though,” he said, scowling. “I want them to know that if they mess with you I won’t hesitate to break both their legs.”
She giggled. “You’re so cute when you’re being overprotective.”
“I’m serious,” he said, frowning at her. “And don’t think I wouldn’t do it.”
“I know you would.” She grabbed his hand. “Mom probably would have liked to know you’d go to the same lengths to protect her.”
“God,” he said, looking up at the ceiling. “Haven’t we been through all this? I was a thoughtless jerk. Message received.”
“But it’s not too late to change, Dad.”
“I’m not so sure about that, sweetie. I put your mom through a lot. She’d have to be crazy to give me another chance.”
“Then you’re just giving up?” she asked, crossing her arms. “’Cause that doesn’t sound like you. Since when do you just give up on something you want?”
Never.“I hear what you’re saying, but I have to think about what’s best for her too. I don’t want to be in her life unless I’m sure I can make her happy this time around.”
“And you don’t think you could?”
He considered that a minute before he said, “I’d have to change a hell of a lot.”
“And do you want to change?”
