Page 32 of Reckless
“Yes, I do.”
His expression sharpened.“Tell me.”
I smiled without humor.“You want me to help you clean this up.You want my cooperation because my refusal becomes messy for me first and you know it.You want me calm enough to hear reason and attracted enough to believe you when you say this is practical.”
He didn’t move.
I kept going because if I stopped I might start shaking.
“And the thing I hate most?You’re right.It is practical.Which means I need to say no now, before practicality turns into me making your life easier while pretending I’m still in charge of mine.”
Something flashed across his face then.Quick enough that I almost missed it.
“Fine?”I repeated.“For now.”
“This is a good start.”
My laugh came back.“Oh, incredible.You say that like there’s going to be a later.”
He reached for the coffee he’d set on the car.
“No.”
Neither of us moved.
The landing outside my apartment felt too small.I wanted him to stop looking at me and I wanted my body to stop reacting to the simple fact of him existing in my air.
So I took the only control still available to me.I stepped back inside and shut the door in his face.
Then I stood there with my hand flat against the door and listened.
No immediate knock.Then nothing.I waited a full thirty seconds before I looked through the peephole.The landing was empty.
I stared at it long to consider whether leaving it there was part of some larger psychological operation or deeply annoying rich-man confidence.
Then I opened the door, and stared at the road.
Then my phone buzzed.
Britney: I know.Michael saw his car leaving.Coffee.Now.
I grabbed my keys.I needed better hobbies than coffee.Everyone knew my weakness.
Four
The Least Bad Option
Xerses
Kelly slammed the door in my face.
Not the outcome I wanted when I drove across town before nine in the morning because seeing a woman furious with me at dinner and again on a terrace had not been enough.
I stood on the landing outside her apartment for one beat too long after the lock clicked into place.
Mostly because I was not a man who usually got doors shut on him.
And certainly not by women who were still flushed from anger, and still looking at me like they wanted me gone and closer at the same time.
