Page 28 of Reckless
Me: You publicly lied about me in front of your family.
Xerses: I solved a problem.
My face went hot all over again.
Me: That was not your problem to solve.
There was a pause this time.
Long enough that I pictured him somewhere in the compound, probably leaning against some expensive surface while ruining my blood pressure one text at a time.
Then dots.
Xerses: It became my problem when my mother used you to make a point.You shouldn’t be just one possible option to anyone.
I stopped breathing for one second.He was nice to me.Sometimes.
Or I read too much into that.
Then I got angry again, because if he got to be accidentally thoughtful on top of everything else I was going to have to become a nun.
Me: No.What became your problem was your inability to leave a room alone.
Xerses: Good night.See you tomorrow morning.
I put the phone facedown and walked out of the bathroom.
Then I made tea, because I would sit on my couch in the soft yellow light of my living room and try not to think.
My apartment was too quiet.Usually that quiet comforted me.
Tonight it gave my brain room to sprint.
Xerses could have anyone and clearly did but he made me laugh and singled me out more than once since I’ve known him.I also thought about the way Roxanne had touched my shoulder like I already belonged to her.
God, no.I was not doing that tonight.
He’d told me no before.He’s busy.And honestly because I was the woman with the loud mouth and the weird dating history and the very normal apartment and the elementary-school teacher salary and the new real-estate license and the friends who all somehow leveled up into impossible men while I kept collecting stories about Batman.
My phone buzzed again.
I lunged for it purely so I could tell him to choke on his own composure.
It wasn’t him.
Hope: Britney said don’t text you but that made me want to text you more.
Me: That’s because you love chaos as much as Charlie does.
Hope: No one loves chaos as much as Charlie does.
Me: Are you okay?
Hope: Always.I was happy when Xerses said you were dating.
I stared at the words longer than I should have.
Me: It’s okay.I’m good.I should have said good night.
