Page 62 of Reckless
Kelly settled into the rhythm of the table.Asked my father a question about one of the Persepolis reproductions on the walls that made him look pleased.Let Avril pull her into a side conversation about a fundraiser without treating it like a spotlight.Told a quick story about one of her students that made my mother laugh and my father’s entire expression soften.
And every time she relaxed, the danger increased.
She was more alive in the face.
By the time dessert appeared, I was in a very specific kind of trouble.
The kind where every small thing starts feeling charged because your attention has narrowed too far and you have no interest in widening it again.
Kelly wasn’t someone I could erase in my mind for even a second.
When dinner finally broke apart, my mother herded people toward the salon and terrace for more drinks, more tea, more conversation because no one in this family had ever once believed in ending an evening before it became an event.
Kelly rose from her chair and I joined.
This time when I touched her back, she didn’t tense first.She just moved.
That one tiny difference hit me harder than it should have.
People spread out in the usual pockets.Charlie and Hope by the bar.Michael and Britney near one of the stone columns, speaking low to be private and clearly having no intention of joining anyone else until forced.Jeff and Miley near the garden edge, talking with their heads bent close.Roman and Isabel in the sort of still, expensive-looking intimacy that made every other couple in the vicinity look under-designed.
Kelly stood at the terrace rail with her drink and looked out at the water like she needed the horizon to keep from drowning in the room behind her.
I gave her thirty seconds before joining her.
“You survived,” I said.
“Did I?Because my nervous system disagrees.”
“You handled Charlie.”
“Charlie is the easy one.Your mother is the one who terrifies me.”
“She likes you.”
“That is exactly the problem.”
I came closer and asked, “Why?”
“Because when your mother likes someone, she starts planning their future before dessert.”
“You noticed that.”
She shook her head.“Everyone noticed that.Including you.She was practically measuring me for a wedding dress with her eyes.”
She took a breath and let it out slowly.“Did I?”
“More or less.”
She looked at me then, moonlight and terrace lamps catching in her eyes.“Your family is a lot.”
“They are all there when you need them.”
“That sounds amazing and its nice to see and wish-”
Her mouth soften around the edge of a smile.
She took another sip of her drink and looked back out at the black line of the Atlantic.“Your mother is very hard not to like.”
