Page 132 of Reckless
And for the first time in my life, the word virgin no longer felt like a bruise.It felt like a door I had finally walked through with the right person at the right time because I had wanted to.
The next morning, I woke up wrapped in warm sheets and sunlight with the weirdest, happiest urge to laugh.
I didn’t feel ruined.
I felt warm.
Satisfied in some deep, feminine way I didn’t have better language for yet.My body felt used, yes.Gently sore.Sensitive in places that made me blush when I thought too hard about them.
But mostly I felt light.
Like something old and stupid had finally dropped off me in the night.
I rolled onto my back and smiled at the ceiling like an idiot.
“You had sex on a beach,” I told the ceiling.“With a billionaire.Under the moon.And you liked it.”
The ceiling was very quiet.
“You more than liked it.You loved it.You want to do it again.You are lying in Egyptian cotton sheets thinking about his mouth and you have zero regrets.”
I buried my face in the pillow.
“Zero,” I said into the pillow, muffled.“Absolutely zero.”
If any of my friends could see me right now, they would never let me live it down.
The best part?I didn’t care.
That was how good I felt.
A knock on the door.
Avril’s voice, soft.“Kelly?Are you up?”
“Barely.”
“Can I come in?”
I opened the door.Avril stood there with two cups of tea and the kind of quiet smile that meant she already knew.
“You look different,” she said.
“Different how.”
“Happy.”
“Is that so unusual?”
“On you?This version of it?Yes.”
I took the tea.“I don’t know what I’m doing.”
“You don’t have to know yet.”
“That’s terrifying.”
“That’s love,” Avril said simply.
