Page 29 of Wicked Deceptions
“Of course,” I say and follow him to the door.It is all about to end.
Once we are out in the hallway, he turns toward me and says, “I need to go back to London today. I’m so sorry, Katie, but I am going to have to cut our holiday short.”
“Oh, no! Did something happen?”
“Nothing yet, but hopefully my going back can prevent something from happening.” He pulls me into a hug. “Please forgive me, love.”
“There is no need for that. I understand completely, Ben. You have a very important job, and people depend on you.” I pause. “I can be ready in an hour.”
“Good, thank you for understanding,” he says. As I turn to head upstairs to get ready to go, he calls after me, “Have I told you how amazing you are?”
I wink at him and say, “Not in the last hour.” I turn back and head for the stairs. I knew it was only a matter of time before “something” came up.
An hour later, a footman is carrying my case down to the car, and I am waiting in the grand entrance for Ben. We make our apologies and say our good-byes to his family and then we’re off.
During the entire drive, Ben is agitated, and I’m concerned. “Ben, what’s wrong?”
“I really shouldn’t say, Katie.”
“Do you love me?” I ask. I’m irritated he won’t tell me what’s wrong. I know he deals with confidential information, but I am the woman he supposedly loves. Surely he can trust me.
“Of course I do. How could you ask such a thing?”
“Because, if you love me, you will allow me to share in your happiness as well as your disappointments. You can tell me, Ben.”I’m losing him.
“I know, darling, I’m sorry. I’ve been trained to keep things confidential and up until recently didn’t have someone in my life whom I love the way I love you. It’s hard to break old habits.” He hesitates and then says, “In England, on the homeland, our biggest struggle with the Germans are the Zeppelin attacks, but we have been working on special ammunition that will cause the gases in the Zeppelins to explode. It could be a major coup for us.”
“So why do you have to leave? Why would special ammunition be such an emergency?”
“I’m the lead on this, and they’ve run into some snags. I have to go back and sort it all out. If the problems aren’t fixed, we could lose men. I’ll probably be the first pilot to test them out as well.”
“Is that dangerous?”
“It is, but I can’t risk the lives of my men without testing it out myself first.”
“I’m worried for you.”
“I am too.”
For the remaining three hours back to London, we remain silent. I have no idea what Ben is thinking about. He’s preoccupied, and it’s obvious he has a lot on his mind. And unfortunately for us both, I know in my heart this will be the last time I see him.
Chapter 14
It’s been several weeks since Ben and I returned from Knowsley Hall, and it has been several weeks since I’ve heard from him. I know he is busy with work and testing the new ammunition. My fears are coming true, and I know something bad has happened.
My depression has returned, and I do nothing but walk to work every day through the cold and snow, only to return home after a long day of typing brief after brief to an empty and lonely flat. Memories of my past haunt me every day. My parents, my brother, Paris, Germany, and Mother Russia. It all seems so unreal now, as if I imagined everything. But unfortunately, I did not.
It is now Friday night, three weeks after Ben left. I’m alone in my flat, adhering to the curfew laws and reading. It’s so quiet. I like the quiet, but sometimes it’s so loud, it’s deafening. Tonight is one of those times. Suddenly, I’m startled by a heavy knock on the door.Who could be calling at this time of night?
I look out my front window and recognize the man standing at my door. It’s the corporal who was at Knowsley Hall the day Ben and I left. I quickly open the door. “Hello.”
“Good evening, Miss Miller. I’m sorry to call on you at such a late hour, but I have been asked by my superiors to inform you that Lieutenant Stanley is missing and presumed dead. I’m sorry for your loss.” He’s so matter-of-fact, and as he says the words, he puts forth no ounce of feeling. How cruel to drop news like that in such a cold manner. When he is done speaking, he simply turns and leaves me standing there in utter shock.I knew this would happen.
I don’t understand. How can you be missing and presumed dead at the same time? You are either missing or dead. Isn’t that how it’s supposed to be?He can’t be dead. He just can’t be. Perhaps the Germans captured him? Oh God, no. That would be so much worse, and if that is the case, I pray he is dead.In my heart, I know exactly what happened to Lieutenant Stanley, and my heart breaks for him. I cannot help but feel responsible for this.
Over the course of the next several days, I hear nothing of my handsome lieutenant. I don’t know if he is dead, captured, or wandering somewhere lost.Will I ever know? Will they ever tell me the truth?I spend the next three weeks waiting to hear from Gerhardt and where I am to go next.
I’m sitting in Saint James Park. It’s still very cold, and it is quite windy today. We should be meeting someplace where it’s warm, but he insisted we meet here. I look at my timepiece and see he’s almost a half hour late.What could be keeping him?I know his lateness is on purpose. He wants me to squirm and to reinforce to me thattheyare in charge. But he doesn’t realize I’ve known this all along. When I sold my soul to the devil, my life belonged to them and will never be my own again.
