Page 60 of Sainte
“We need to talk.”
She rolls her eyes. “Sainte, I’m really not in the mood for this.”
I slide the paper away from her and say, “Then get in the mood.”
She takes a sip of her coffee. “Fine, what do you want to talk about?”
“What’s going on with you? You were fine last night and then suddenly everything changed.”
She shakes her head. “It’s nothing.”
“Damn it, Honey. If this is gonna work between us, you need to talk to me and tell me what’s bothering you.”
She looks up at me with tears in her eyes. “I’m scared. You happy now?” She looks away.
My hand grasps her chin to turn her face back toward me. “Why would the fact that you’re scared make me happy? What are you afraid of?”
“You really want to know?”
“Yes, I really do.”
She looks at me surprised, as if she did not expect that answer. I’ve been nothing but straight up and honest with her. Sure I tease her, but it is only to get a rise out of her.
“I’m afraid of you.”
“Me?”
“You have a way of taking down some pretty big walls that I have built.” She takes another sip of her coffee. “I don’t want to be another notch in your belt and then cast aside when an old flame comes into the picture.”
So this is what’s bothering her. She doesn’t want another Ice-Emma-Honey situation. I get that. “First of all, you already are a notch in my belt. But I can assure you, no old flames will be coming into the picture. I’ve told you several times, you are the woman for me.”
Her eyes widen. “What?”
“Baby, I tease and make fun, but when all is said and done, I don’t want to be with anyone but you. We can have a wonderful life together if you will only relax and stop fighting it.”
Tears steam down her cheeks. “Sainte, I’m so scared to love again. I loved Ice. Hell, sometimes I think I still do, perhaps in a different way. I don’t know. When Emma came, it was so hard to step aside. I felt so broken. I don’t ever want to feel that way again.”
I put my arm around her. “I know darlin’.”
“Hawk was right. I fell into his arms because he was safe. I knew he would never hurt me. He was my best friend. I could tell him anything, and I knew he would love me no matter what.”
“I know, baby. It’s hard sometimes, recognizing the difference between friendship love and romantic love. Many often get it confused, and it’s why so many marriages and relationships fail.”
She gives me a sideways glance. “So you’re a relationship expert now?”
I laugh. “I know about relationships. I’m no expert, but I have been in one or two before.” I pull her into a hug. “So, what do you want to happen between us?”
She sits up. “I really like being with you,” she says in almost a whisper. It’s like she thinks that if she says it louder, it will hurt more or something.
“Well, I really like being with you.”
“So does that mean…”
I nudge her shoulder. “You wanna be my old lady?”
More tears well in her eyes, but there’s something different this time. She’s smiling. “Yes, I do.”
I laugh. “See, that wasn’t so hard.”
