Page 19 of Raw Honey
I walk over to his office and step in the doorway. Lightly knocking on the open door, I say, "Hawk said you needed to see me, Ice?"
"Yeah, why don't you have a seat?" he replies. I sit down and look up at him, concerned. He says, "Honey, you've been a part of this club now for many years. You've been loyal to the club and that has not gone unnoticed. You are an asset to this club and every brother loves you. You have cleaned up our bloody messes, our drunken brawls, and have made sure we have decent meals to eat."
Ice looks frustrated, which makes me start to question my conclusion that I have not done anything wrong. I ask, "Ice, have I done something wrong?"
"Honey, no, it's nothing like that." He pauses and then adds, "What I am getting at is that we have never involved you in club business. We never wanted to. Not because we didn't trust you, but because we didn't want you to get hurt. But unfortunately, the time has come that the club needs you."
I sigh with relief and say, "You know I would do anything for the club. I came to you beaten and broken, and you and the club took me in. You gave me a roof over my head, a home, and more importantly, a family. You just name it, I'll do it."
"You might not feel that way when you hear what we need."
"Ice, just tell me. Quit beating around the bush and just spill it." I hate when he tries to sugarcoat things. He's got to know that I'm in for the long haul and that I would do anything for him.
"If you haven't noticed, you resemble Emma."
Well fuck, of course, I've noticed that. Why do you think this whole situation has been so hard to swallow? I know that I was a substitute for her.
He continues, "Emma is in danger. That's why I sent her away. But we need the Satans to think that she is still here. We need them to stop looking for her. Basically, we need a decoy. That's where you come in." I take a deep breath, waiting for the rest. "The boys and I think that from a distance, dressed in the right clothes—and if you straighten your hair a bit—you could be a dead ringer for Emma."
"Where will I be the decoy? Will I be in danger?" I ask.
"You'll be right here at the clubhouse. We're having a party Saturday night. We are tipping off the Satans that Emma will be here, and you just need to stand in. I cannot imagine that the Satans would make a hit on the clubhouse, especially since all the old ladies and children will be here. So, I believe you will be safe. But as both you and I know, there are no guarantees."
"Will you be with me?" I ask.
"Yes, I will."
"Why do I feel that there is more?" I can tell he is avoiding telling me something and it's pissing me off.
"You are a smart woman, Honey. Yes, there is more." He takes a deep breath, and continues, "We need to be convincing. Do you know what I mean by that?"
"I think I do. But maybe you should spell it out for me. You know, so I don't make any false assumptions."
"We will need to be on display during this party. Lots of public displays of affection: kissing, perhaps even running off together leaving the assumption out there that we want to be alone. Can you do that?"
"Do I have time to think about it?" I ask.
"Unfortunately, not a lot. I can give you a couple of minutes now if that will help. I'm sorry for putting you on the spot like this, but we need to act on this quickly." He pauses and then adds, "I know we have some history, and I am guessing that this could be difficult for you; I don't want you hurt."
You already have.I sit there and think about what he's asking. He's never asked me to do anything that involved club business. And I know he's desperate to keep Emma safe and it looks like I can help. Before I change my mind, I blurt out, "I'll do it."
His blue eyes sparkle as he smiles at me, and I melt.Why does he still get to me that way?He gets up from his desk and walks around and kisses me on the cheek.Oh God, I miss him.
"You are an amazing woman, Honey. One day, one of these boys is gonna be very lucky making you their old lady."
I want it to be you!my heart cries silently, but I know that will never be. He truly loves Emma and the sooner I accept that wholeheartedly, the better off I will be. Maybe he is right, maybe there is someone out there for me—and then I remember Hawk's words: "I'll be waiting."
I can't fight back the tears any longer and my eyes begin to well up. I say, "You think so, Ice? You really think there is someone out there for me?"
He pulls me into his arms and hugs me. "I sure as hell do. Someone better than me."
Before I know it, Saturday is here. The party is tonight. To say that I'm nervous is an understatement. I have questioned myself for doing this many times, but each time I remember that it's for the club. It's for Ice and Emma, and even though my jealousy wants to rear its ugly head, I fight it. I'm better than that and this is my chance to prove it to the club, but more importantly, to myself.
Ice and I went searching in Emma's room to see if she left anything behind. We found a pair of skinny jeans and a simple black shirt and black boots and it all fit perfectly. It’s definitely not my style, but I guess that's where Emma and I differ. I’ve just applied the finishing touches to my face, and as Ice instructed, my hair is straight. I run a brush through it and I'm ready to go.Perfect. I really do look like her.
It's after 8 pm and the party has already started. I make my way downstairs and I notice that Ice keeps staring at the steps. As soon as he spots me, he smiles. I can see the relief on his face. When I get to the bottom, I walk directly to him and he says, "Ready to get this party started?"
I smile and say, "Let's do it." We make our way outside so that we can be seen, since most of the attendees are already outside. I guess he's assuming that the Satans are out there somewhere watching the compound.
