Page 57 of Crowned In Blood
"Hi," I said, my voice barely above a whisper.
"What's wrong?"
I rested my head back against my door. "How did you know something was wrong?"
"I can hear it in your voice."
I bit my lip. "Are you busy?"
"Never for you. But before you tell me what's going on, take a deep breath." His tone was so warm and gentle that I followed him without meaning to.
"One more time," he commanded.
I took another deep breath, sighing as I exhaled, just like he did.
"Good girl."
His praise sent a zip of electricity down my spine.
"Now tell me what's wrong."
"I… I'm about to meet with my capos to tell them about the trafficking and my father." My chest was hot, itchy, and I started to scratch at my skin.
"Are you still feeling guilty about it?"
"How could I not? I hated my life and my father. But now, knowing that he may have made so much money sacrificing the lives of innocent people—people I'm now responsible for—all while proclaiming to the world how he's a good, just man, and putting together laws to give support to women and children sickens me."
"You're not your father, Lina." Marco's voice was patient, but firm.
"I know I'm not. But I benefited from what he did."
"How? Through clothes, jewelry, parties? Catalina, I watched that man almost hit you last night inmypresence. I can only guess what he would have done if I hadn't been there, and what he's likely done before."
I fell silent, because even though he was right, I couldn't find the courage to admit it.
"You see yourself as someone who benefited from the gain of other people's suffering, and that's warring with your conscience. But you suffered too."
His words made me freeze. It felt like a light bulb was slowly warming in my mind, dim but beginning to grow. "But I didn't suffer as much?—"
"Didn't you? Your father abused and tortured you, Catalina. Then he sold you off to the highest bidder, knowing full well how that man treated women," he bit out. "He didn't care about you or your livelihood, and it scares me to think of what might have happened to you if you hadn't killed Fernando. Even if I would have come to your rescue, it still would have taken time, and the damage would have been incredibly difficult to repair."
"Even after knowing everything, would you still have come to save me?"
"Of course I would have," he said without a moment of hesitation. "I told you that after I came back from Italy, and as I told you last night, you're mine.No onehurts, or evendaresto touch anything that belongs to me. Especiallyyou."
My heart thundered so hard I was scared it might leave me and run away with him. I bit my lip and shut my eyes, trying to get myself together. But I was so vulnerable right now, especially to Marco, that I was starting to believe his words.
Would it be so dangerous to? To acknowledge the pain and agony I'd gone through, and not judge it against someone else's? To think of and see myself better than I typically did? As someone worth saving and protecting?
"Much like I would have saved you and still will whenever you need me to, you're working to save your people. That's all you can do," he said in a warm, soft tone.
"It's not enough," I whispered.
"No, it isn't enough to fix everything, but it is more than enough fromyou. Instead of holding yourself accountable for a crime you didn't commit, focus on ways to take down your father and right his wrongs. You're a good person, Catalina."
I scoffed. "I'm definitely not."
"You are." His voice was firm, absolute. "In your heart—in the deepest parts of you—you want to make the lives of those around you better, and you're willing to sacrifice whatever you need to do so.That'swhat makes you a good person. It's something I find admirable and inspiring about you, and anyone worth a damn can see that in you, too."
