Page 30 of Night Fury
“No,” she whimpered, opening her eyes.
“Because you are resilient. You persevere. You’re strong, courageous, a beacon of hope.” His hand slid from her waist up her side, tracing along her body. His fingertips lightly grazed the side of her breast, causing her to bite back a moan.
Johanna gripped his shoulders, her voice breathless as she said, “Luke, what are you doing to me?”
“Letting you know how beautiful I think you are, how utterlydesirableyou are to me.” He released a sharp breath as he grabbed a hold of her hips and pulled her forward. She rocked against him, and they both moaned.
“I am over seven hundred years old, Johanna, from a time when women who looked like you would have been treated correctly, like a fucking blessing. Society is only obsessed with being thin now because of food scarcity and a million other things my brain can’t focus on because I’m near you. But I can tell you that not a single one of them is true. The word ‘fat’ has a negative connotation to it, but that’s not what it means, and it damn sure doesn’t mean you’re ugly, unintelligent, unhealthy, nor anything else anyone has ever called you. If you ever doubt that, feel free to look through my thoughts and I’ll show you everything I’ve dreamt of doing to you since I first laid eyes on you.”
She grew wetter with every word. Her nipples had turned into hard peaks, so sensitive that even the light rubbing of her nightgown as she panted was too much. Her body shook with need and want, but there was more than just desire coursing through her veins. Johanna felt vulnerable. Luke had turned her into fragmented chaos. Her soul begged for him to pluck her strings like an instrument and play her to whatever tune he wanted, just as long as he played her, as long as he touched her. Luke’s honesty had flayed her open in such a way that she didn’t want to ever be closed again. No, she wanted him to fill her empty spaces until every breath, every cell of her body had tasted his. And just as he had assured her, she wanted to assure him of where she stood, of what she wanted from him.
“I…” She took a deep breath to steady her nerves. “It’s not only my loved ones that I don’t remember.”
He tilted his head, confused.
“It’s you. I don’t remember you. I protected the people I love … and the person I knew I could fall in love with.” She stared into his eyes, and a pop of satisfaction settled into her heart at his shock. “When I was unconscious, I heard you. I didn’t know it was you at the time, but you’re the reason I woke up. You made me feel safe. You made me feel comfortable, like I could trust you, like I … had a home in you.”
Johanna rubbed his chest, right over his pounding heart. “I want that home, Luke. I want you, and I’m willing to do whatever it is I need to do to be that for you. I want to be someone you can trust and confide in, someone that one day you can love.”
His breath rushed out of him with a hiss, then grew shallow as he panted. Luke closed his eyes and tilted his head back, appearing tortured. A low, rumbling growl spilled out of his throat as he gripped the window seat hard enough to break it.
“Luke?” She reached out for him, gently caressing the side of his neck. His pulse thundered against her fingers so strongly she was concerned he was going to have a heart attack.
“I should have picked a different name for you, something wicked and dangerous,” he murmured.
“What?”
His eyes opened, the darkness within them making her gasp. “You cannot say that to a man and then expect him not to struggle with losing control.”
She blinked, then her mouth formed an “O” as she realized what he meant. His confession made her feel powerful, and with a soft giggle she started to get off his lap, but he pulled her back down.
“Absolutely not.” His fingers flexed around her hips and a shiver traveled along her spine. “Stay, I just need a second to calm down.”
She was still smiling as she nodded and rested her head in the crook of his neck. Every breath he took pushed at her chest and she took one with him, needing to settle herself as well.
Then he whispered, “I don’t think you’re going to have to wait very long.”
“Hmm?”
“For me to fall in love with you.”
CHAPTER 13
Johanna and Luke had spent most of every day of the last month together. She couldn’t remember ever laughing as much as she had in her time with him, nor feeling as warm and cared for as he made her feel. They ate together, and no matter how busy Luke got, he always stopped to cuddle and sleep with her. When Luke wasn’t with her, he was off being a busybody, flitting around doing something to what he liked to call “their” house, or working for the firm. Then Daniella announced she was pregnant, and he added worrying over her to that list. It was adorable.
There was really only one problem with all of this. Multiple times a day he asked her what she wanted, as a way to remind her to check in with herself. As the days went on and he kept asking her that question, she kept having to stop herself from saying “you.”
Sometimes she thought he knew. The side of his lip would curl into a smirk, and she swore he almost dared her with her eyes to say it, but she never did. She didn’t know how to yet. Yes, she felt like she was healing quickly—due to having such a positive and caring environment around her with someone who treated her well, and her growing friendship with Daniella—but at the end of the day she still didn’t feel as worthy as she now knew she should.
So, much like Luke, she kept herself busy when he worked. Johanna had started looking the roster of employee IDs, hoping to find more coordinates, but it was difficult. While she had clearly been the one to come up with the code, it was like looking at someone else’s handiwork. The her that had made these had been in an entirely different mental space. She had been efficient, powerful,desperate. She wanted to save as many people as she could, and it was hard to be forced to see herself the same way Luke and the others saw her.
What she had done was incredible and compared to the way she saw herself now, it felt like she’d taken ten steps back in time. Every time she thought she might have figured out part of her code, doubt crept over her and caused her to second-guess herself. It was important that when she determined a new location, it was correct. If not, she could very well be sending everyone on a wild goose chase or, if she wasn’t careful, into a trap. She was playing with people’s lives, so she had to do this correctly. Luke, Daniella, Greg, and even Mya were counting on her and she didn’t want to let them down.
She sighed, raking her fingers through her hair as she leaned her elbows on the table. She stayed like that as she heard Luke step into the room.
“Hey,” he said, dropping a kiss on her forehead. “Having a tough time?”
She looked up at him. “Yes. I just have no idea what I was thinking when I made these. I can’t get into that headspace to figure any of this out.”
