Page 207 of Modern Romance May 2026 Books 1-4
I have cursedmy sparrow to a life of sadness. If she had never known me, then she would never know this pain. I can see clearly where I’ve gone wrong. I know she thinks she loves me. But Stockholm syndrome is a very real thing, and I fear that I may have inflicted it on her. Never have I been more conscious of how much younger she is than when I went to dinner with her friends. I had nothing to say to any of them. She wanted so badly to bring me into that part of her life, and I will never be able to inhabit it. Even if I weren’t older, I’m scarred. It’s been too many years of isolation. It’s been too much time of me curating that isolation. I’ve let everyone believe that I’m hard-hearted, to the extent that I began to believe it too.
Only Lilith has ever made me feel differently. She is the only one that has ever made me want to find something softer inside myself.
And I know that I have no choice now. I started this. I have to end it.
I know she doesn’t want me making choices for her, but this all began with a choice I made for her. This all began with me forcing her into my life.
With me clipping her wings. I tried to remove the cage. But I can see now that unless I remove myself I can never truly undo the damage that I’ve done.
So I will do what I have to, to let her truly fly.
Chapter Sixteen
The start ofa new term, new classes, does bring a certain measure of excitement with it. But God I miss him.
“He is very sexy,” Tefi says, as I brood over lunch.
“Yes,” I say. “I just… I’m so in love with him it’s painful, and it would be a lot more convenient if we’d been married for longer before I did this. But of course it made more sense for me to do it before we had kids.”
“It’s just so funny to me,” Tefi says, “that you’re there. I mean, that you have a man that you’re this sick in love with, and you’re ready to have his kids. Most of us are just able to focus on the education bit.”
I laugh. “That was my plan. But…it’s all right. It’s not how it worked out.”
I really do mean that. Because I get why my friends find this to be strange and alien. But I watched Tefi moon over that guy who hooked up with her, then ghosted her, then slid back into her DM’s, hooked up with her relentlessly over the term, then vanished again. I’ve watched Zuri go through a disastrous series of dates, with each guy being more disappointing than the last, and then finally, poor Elektra getting love bombed by the girl she just started seeing, who wanted to move into the same room at school almost instantaneously, only to blow it all up three weeks later.
There is no existing without drama, not in this life. Mine feels like a settled sort of drama anyway.
I go back to my room at the end of the day, and frown when I see an envelope on my pillow. It’s a fancy one, sealed with Lucian’s seal.
I open it up, and pull out a handwritten letter.
Sparrow,
I realize that what I’ve done to you is wrong. I keep trying to make something that I forced on you into your choice, but I can never truly do that if I don’t let you go. Our marriage is over. I’ve dissolved it here in Alabria. I don’t want to hurt you. But I fear that I must free you decisively. Or you will always be a little bit sad.
I cannot bear that I’ve done this to you. I want to give you your life back. Utterly and completely. The rest of your time at school is paid for. All of your expenses. There is money in an account for you, and you will never want for anything, ever again, neither will your mother and sister. This is all I know how to do to fix this. I have never cared if the world thought that I was a monster. But I cannot be a monster to you.
I know what they call me. And they say a dragon craves a virgin sacrifice. I do not want you to be a sacrifice to me. Please, go. Be free of me.
Lucian
My hands begin to shake, and then my whole body. He’s doing it again. Making decisions for me. And I understand how it’s twisted in his head. He feels like I’ve been manipulated into all of this. He feels like none of the choices have been mine. But he’s wrong. I love him. I choose him. I have to figure out some way to convince him of that. I’m furious. Because how dare he? How dare he decide that he knows what’s best? But of course he has. But this letter… What I need to know is if this means he loves me. If it means he loves me, or if he is still atoning for Colette. If he’s still atoning for feeling like he’s responsible for the death of his parents. I need to know. And I’ll only be able to know if I go to him.
Thank God there are commercial flights into Alabria now.
Because I am going to surprise him where he is. I’m going to have to miss classes.
But this is more important.
I know for sure, this is more important.
When I land in Alabria, I go straight to the palace. I’ve warned my security detail not to pass any information on to Lucian, and after explaining the situation, they actually did listen to me. They see the same thing I do. That Lucian is a good man, trapped in his own grief. He’s pushing me away; I know it. I feel that he believes this is the right thing. What I really need to know is why.
I walk into the palace, and it reminds me of that first day that I ever met him. When he sat on that throne and gazed at me with his indolent, golden stare.
But now, I know him. Now, I love him. Now, I’m not afraid.
I’m not here for my sister anymore. I’m here for me. And nothing has ever felt more powerful.
