Page 201 of Modern Romance May 2026 Books 1-4
Where are my online stalkers when I have a tantrum like that in public? Certainly not posting anything that goes viral.
My friends tried to cheer me up through the entire thing. My mother and sister video call me with deep concern. And I tell them that nothing actually happened. But of course the one person I actually want to speak to does nothing to get in touch with me.
I sit alone in my room, feeling… I don’t even know what. Is it heartbreak? Can it possibly be when no declarations of feelings have been shared by anyone? I’m deeply wounded by the entire thing. But most of all, by Lucian’s silence.
This is just like every man every woman in my family has lo—
Oh, it hurts.
I care for him so much more than I wanted to. I didn’t protect myself, and now I’m broken.
It feels like a betrayal. It feels like a real lack of trust in me. That he would let us be broken over this.
I start to worry about him so much that my grades suffer. Which infuriates me. Because being here isn’t supposed to be about him. It’s supposed to be about me. He isn’t speaking to me, so why can’t I just not think of him? I’m living my dream, and I’m worried about this man that’s only been in my life for a few months. To the point that he’s all I can think about. To the point that his silence feels more imposing than his presence ever has.
And it feels like another thing he’s forced upon me. And I am over it.
Which is why, at the end of term, after my final exams, when I see a large silhouette standing in front of my room, I am confused. My heart leaps up into my throat, and I feel certain that it can only be one person. But that one person hasn’t even returned a single text of mine, so how can he be here in person?
Why would he be?
It doesn’t even seem possible. I’m hallucinating. That’s how badly I want to see him.
“Lucian?”
He turns, and everything inside of me combusts. He’s here. He came to see me. He came—
His expression looks grave. What if he’s here to end our marriage?
I’m not going to let them do that. I’m not going to let them say that. I fling myself across the space, and throw my arms around him. “You came for me.”
Slowly, he wraps his arms around my waist. “You’re happy to see me?”
I pull away from him. “You idiot. I’ve been calling you. Texting you. Trying to make sure that you’re not angry with me.”
“I’m not angry with you. I wanted to give you space.”
“Space? I didn’t ask you for space. When a person calls you and texts you, generally they’re asking for connection.”
“I thought perhaps you needed a chance to explore certain things.”
“Lucian. Do you mean…? Did you think that I hooked up with that man?”
“No,” he says, his voice raw grit, like it’s being pulled through his teeth. “I didn’t. I didn’t because I know how wrong the press gets it all the time. But it did make me think that perhaps you were wanting the chance to do something else. The article did have a point. I am older than you and—”
“I have no interest in boys. I have no interest in anyone who isn’t you.”
“Perhaps you onlythinkthat.”
“No. I was a twenty-two-year-old virgin not because I could’ve never found a man to take my virginity, but because I never found one who interested me. You know, men are notoriously not particular about who they sleep with.”
“You are gorgeous,” he says. “You can have any man you desire. I’m not trying to say that you couldn’t. But I am saying that things are different here, and you have more opportunity.”
“I don’twantthe opportunity. Next time, pick up the phone. Don’t make decisions for me.”
He looks raw, and angry. He looks desperate. His shoulders sag, and for the first time, I see Lucian defeated. “I stayed away as long as I could. I couldn’t manage it anymore.”
“Thank God.”
