Page 143 of Modern Romance May 2026 Books 1-4
By the time he’d been allowed back into the room to see Poppy, he’d had his reaction under iron control.
And since then he’d used that iron control to clamp down on his libido. He should never have made love to her that night after the event. She’d been tired, and he should have encouraged her to go to bed. Alone.
But he’d wanted her too badly. And he’d needed to block out everything she’d evoked within him.
But then she’d tried to talk to him, asking him if he thought they could have a future together. He could remember the feeling of exposure. The immediate need to shut it down to avert a fight-or-flight response clawing up from his gut.
But before it could take hold, Poppy had taken his lead and closed it down and asked him to make love to her and Caius had never been so eager to selfishly pursue his own pleasure and that was what had almost— He stopped pacing and went cold again. No wonder she wanted space.
Clearly he shouldn’t be around her. She didn’t even seem to be all that aware of him, she’d just stripped off in front of him to change and he’d almost exploded at the sight of her naked body with that perfect bump and her high full breasts, blue veins visible under the skin.
Maybe he was freaking her out because she sensed his desire and she was more focused on keeping the baby safe. From him. Caius knew he was being irrational, but wanting Poppy and hating himself for believing he might have harmed her and the baby was tangling him up in knots.
He’d almost had a panic attack. Evidence that emotions were high, and not a good sign. Emotions spelled lack of control and chaos and weakness and the kind of spiralling Caius was experiencing now. He had to protect Poppy from that, from himself.
Since when had he forgotten that he’d gone into this marriage with a view to getting out as soon as possible? Since when had he begun to believe that he belonged?
Since when had the anatomy of his life changed so much that he’d forgotten the very basic rule of never allowing anyone to come too close? He had to remember the bottom line here, which was a marriage of convenience to give their baby legitimacy and then, once the baby was born and they’d laid down ground rules for Caius to have a relationship with his daughter, they could get on with separate lives.
When Poppy got back to the apartment, she felt so much better. Fresh air and exercise. It was the first proper chance she’d had to think about things since her revelation in the hospital. The revelation that she loved Caius. And the fact that rejection—the thing she’d feared all her life—was inevitable.
She had to be careful not to forget that, because Caius in caring mode was seriously seductive. But it was concern for the baby, not her. Oh, she didn’t doubt he cared for her—but only as the mother of his child.
Without sex muddying the waters, it was clear Caius had no problem keeping his distance. And that really shouldn’t be a problem because the most important thing was that he was so accepting of his baby daughter. More than accepting.
And the prospect of Caius wanting to be a very committed parent was something Poppy had hoped for but figured wouldn’t happen.
Now, it was a distinct possibility.
But, selfishly, the thought of him deciding to commit to this relationship for the sake of their daughter terrified Poppy.
She’d spent her life with someone who had rejected her on a daily basis. Who hadn’t loved her. She couldn’t do it again. It had reduced her to a shell of herself. Stripped her confidence. She wouldn’t let her daughter watch that happen. Maybe Caius was so invested in his child now that he would fight to be in her life on a permanent basis?
She needed to know what Caius intended so she could be prepared.
She was so preoccupied that she didn’t notice that the apartment was quiet. No sounds coming from Caius’s office. She felt an ominous prickling skate over her skin, as if something seismic had happened but she had no idea what.
She almost jumped out of her skin when one of the nurses appeared in the doorway. The young woman apologised and said, ‘Mr Mansur told me to let you know that he’s taken your advice to go into the office and he’ll call you later.’
‘OK, thank you.’ Poppy forced a smile, absorbing this news. This was a good thing. He’d taken her suggestion on board. So why did she feel suddenly bereft that her constant Caius Nightingale wasn’t here? Although he wasn’t leaving her alone.
The nurse said now, ‘Maybe we should check you over. Mr Mansur said you’d been out for a walk? How are you feeling?’
Poppy fought not to roll her eyes. Caius might not be here but he was making sure she was being monitored at all times. Suddenly she didn’t want space any more, she wanted Caius, even if she couldn’t have him, and if he wouldn’t touch her.
She was losing it. She meekly went with the nurse and allowed the woman to persuade her to take a rest.
Much later that night, when Caius came back, he was feeling slightly less volatile. Until he walked in and saw the figure of Poppy lying on the couch in the den area.
The nurse hovered in the door and whispered, ‘She was watching a movie and fell asleep. I thought I’d leave her.’
Caius nodded and said, ‘Thanks, you can retire for the night.’
She left and Caius looked at Poppy on the couch. Her vibrant hair was fanned out around her head and her features were at rest.
His chest tightened. She was so beautiful. And unexpected. And disturbing to his equilibrium. He’d spent many selfish years ignoring the emptiness inside him, the feeling of worthlessness, but for the first time in his life, these past few months, he’d felt whole.
She might believe that they could build a future together, but he did not deserve to use Poppy to feel good about himself. And his daughter deserved better than a father who hadn’t the first clue about how to be a father. But it was too late to change that. All he could do was go by Poppy’s guidance and try to do no harm.
