Page 10 of Torment
“No not yet. But I do need to get ready for work. I’m going to use the guest room. Be right back.” I smile and bend down to kiss her cheek before giving her and Layla my back to head upstairs.
Tonight’s going to be fun.
CHAPTER NINE
FIVE YEARS OLD
I want to go home.My princess bed is there, and all my toys. I had a dog too–Tommy–but the lady told me that Tommy had to go to a new home just like me. All I have with me is my backpack and two suitcases with clothes. My sparkly pink backpack has my favorite stuffy, my blanket and a picture of Mommy and Daddy.
I was only supposed to stay at Nana and Papa’s for a few days, but one night a police man came and said that Mommy and Daddy weren’t coming home. I was three when that happened.Nana and Papa took care of me for two years, then Nana got sick. She started to forget things–then she forgot me and Papa. She had to go live in a place where lots of other old people lived. Me and Papa visited her a lot. We’d play games with her and I would sing her songs, but one day we couldn't go anymore. Papa said she went to Heaven to see Mommy and Daddy, and that it was just us now. But then, Papa got sick too.
Now I’m here, in this big house that smells funny. Home always smelled like flowers and clean clothes. It’s super loud here too, with lots of other kids yelling and playing. The lady holds my hand and I hide behind her legs when the big kids run past us playing with a soccer ball.
“It’s okay, sweet girl. Don’t be afraid,” she says when she looks down at me and smiles. She’s really nice, but Iamscared.
“I want to go home,” I whisper and start to cry. She bends down, then lifts my chin with her soft hands. Her brown eyes look watery too when she looks at me, but she smiles again and wipes my cheeks.
“I know you do, sweetie. I’m so sorry. I wish you could go home, too.” She gives me a warm hug, and I cry into her shirt for a while–still standing at the front door of the house. When I start to calm down, she lets me go and looks down at her shirt.
“Hey, you got my shirt all wet,” she teases me and tries to wipe the wet spots away. It makes me smile a little, but my heart still hurts.
“I am so sorry to keep you waiting.” Another lady says as she walks towards us. She’s short with long brown hair, and pretty blue eyes like mine. She wipes her hands on the apron that’s tied around her waist, then stops in front of us and bends down so she can look at me.
“Who do we have here?” she smiles.
“This is Ashlynn. Ashlynn, this is Ms. Thompson,” the lady who brought me here says.
“Hi,” I say quietly with my fingers in my mouth.
“It’s very nice to meet you, Ashlynn. I love your pretty red hair, and your bow.”
“Thank you.”
“Let me show you where your room is so you can put your stuff down, then I’ll introduce you to the other kids, okay?” She holds out her hand for me, and I take it nervously.
We walk upstairs and down a long hallway with lots of doors, then stop at one at the end. She opens the door and I look inside. The walls are gray, with white around the two windows that have some light pink curtains hanging up. There’s two desks on one wall, and bunks beds on the other. The top bunk has stuffies and purple blankets on it, and the bottom bed has white sheets and one pillow.
Ms. Thompson helps me put my things away then shows me the rest of the house. She introduces me to the other kids, but I’m too scared to say anything. I hide behind her leg and the rest of them go back to playing, ignoring me. Ms. Thompson turns, and bends down to look at me.
“Do you want to help me with dinner?” she asks me and I nod. She stands up and takes my hand, then I follow her to the kitchen where I watch her make dinner quietly while sitting on the counter.
FOURTEEN YEARS OLD
That was the nicest home I’ve lived at since Papa passed away.I got to stay with Ms. Thompson for two years, then the state asked her if she wanted to adopt me, and she said no. She was never a permanent home for anyone, but she kept me with her as long as she could. Leaving her was awful.
I miss her. Everywhere I’ve been since then has been terrible–this place especially. And I’ve been bounced arounda lot–two new homes a year. Sometimes more.Theparentsare terrible and abusive. The kids here are even worse.
Sure, I could have been adopted out. Three times by now actually, but no one actually wants me. They think they do, then they realize I’m more work than they want to put in. Once that realization settles in, they bring me back. I won’t talk. I don’twantto talk. What’s the point? Plus, most families want the younger kids, not teenagers. Three more years, I’ll age out and finally be on my own.
Keeping my head down, I leave my shared bedroom to go down to the kitchen for dinner. These people don’t cook, they don’t clean much, so we have to fend for ourselves most of the time. I’ll just grab myself a can of ravioli and bring it back to my room. No one here likes me, and I certainly don’t like them. I try my best to stay under the radar, and out of the way. I reach the top of the stairs when I’m yanked backwards by my hair and slammed onto the floor.
“Hey ghost. Where ya goin’?” Billy taunts. He’s the meanest of all of them. They all call me ghost. Since I’m so quiet and try so hard to go unnoticed, I guess they thought it was funny. The name calling doesn’t bother me, but Billy’s violent. He’s pushed me down the stairs, choked me, ripped handfuls of hair out of my head, he’s tried cornering me in my room and touching me. I bit the hell out of his shoulder for that one, and that earned me a beating from the drunk asshole that runs this hellhole of a foster home.
“You going to get something to eat? You hungry little ghost?” He steps closer to me and I scoot myself back into a corner. “If you’re hungry, say it. Say it you fucking weirdo. ‘I’m hungry.’ It’s not that hard.” He tilts his head and his dark colored hair falls across his forehead. His almost black eyes look me up and down, sending a chill down my spine. I glare at him and try to stand, but he pushes me back down on the ground. I try to catch myself, but my wrist bends a weird way causing pain to shoot up my arm, and I scream.
“Holy shit,” he laughs. “She makes noise. I wonder what she’d sound like if I…” he trails off and leans into me. I squeeze my eyes shut, ready for whatever this asshole has planned, but it never comes. I hear a loudthwackand open my eyes to see Billy holding the side of his head and stumbling into a wall. Next to him, there’s another boy I’ve never seen before. He’s taller than Billy, and he’s shaking out his bloody hand. He steps toward Billy, and grabs him by the throat. He squeezes, Billy starts to cough as his feet leave the floor.
“Every place I go to, there’s always someone like you. The big bad bully, gets all the others scared. But really,” he squeezes a little harder. “You’re just a dick.” He slams Billy into the wall then drops him.
