Page 13 of Affliction
Chapter eight
“Oh my god, Parker,are you okay?!” Ashlynn shoves her way through the front door. Dropping her bags and the tray of coffee she brought over, as promised, on the counter.
I barely remember passing out before I startled awake to her banging on the front door—calling my phone to wake me up. When I finally managed to drag myself to the front door and open it she gasped at my appearance, and here we are.
“Yeah I’m fine. I just didn’t get any sleep last night.” I mumble through a yawn.
She eyes me warily, concern written all over her face. “Are you sure that’s all it is? You look like you’ve been hit with a truck and backed over a couple of times for good measure.” I stare at her dumbfounded.
Do I really look that bad?
“Ouch. Thanksbestie.”I snark as I reach for the drink tray, successfully snatching my cup out of the holder though she tries to keep it out of my reach. I inhale the delectable aroma of my coffee once I lift the cup with my name on it up to my nose and mouth, holding it between both hands as if I’m praying to the caffeine gods. The tension melts off in drastic waves every time the delicious scent floods my senses.
“Well, I mean, do you want me to lie to you? What’s going on Parker? I’ve seen you tired, I’ve seen you with a total lack of sleep, and I’ve seen you completely worn down, but this?” She waves her hands up and down the length of my body, “This is different. Like I said, truck. A big, fat, semi sized truck.”
No lie, that’s exactly how I feel; like I’ve been run over multiple times. I’m mentally drained and physically exhausted. What happened this morning has splintered my sanity, and the feeling of security I’ve had the last couple years is starting to slip away.
I want to tell her what’s going on, because I have no one else to talk to, and she’s my best friend. Myonlyfriend. But at the same time, I’m afraid if I tell her what’s going on right now, it will open the flood gates and lead me into talking about a past I have meticulously kept under lock and key. The night at the house in Rhode Island? That’s going to the grave with me. Telling her is just too risky.
“Did something happen at work last night? Did that new bouncer bother you?” She implores, her eyes full of concern, trying to get a read on me.
I wave a dismissive hand at her, “No, it was a normal night. And I almost forgot Cole was there until last call. He stayed out of my way, walked me to my car, and left.”
“Well I’m glad nothing happened but seriously. If something’s going on, you can tell me you know. I can see something is bothering you. I won’t push, but I’m here if you need someone to vent to.” Ashlynn says softly while bringing me in for a hug.
A pang of guilt hits me for being so closed off with her. She’s been nothing but sweet and kind to me ever since my first day at Doc’s. Did she one hundred percent annoy the hell out of me until I gave in andstarted hanging out with her? Absolutely. But she was nevertoopushy, or overbearing.
I’ve told Ash very little about me. Feeding her a fabricated story of who I am and where I come from feels wrong. Mostly because I hate lying to her–but I also know that I absolutely cannot let anyone know the truth, not if I want to stay safe. Therefore, I’ve kept her at arms length and never got too personal.
I resolve not to say anything to her about the strange nights I’ve had as of late. At least not yet. I still can’t figure out if I’m going insane, or if I really am being watched. Once I’m able to actually get some solid rest and think clearly enough to figure that out, Imighttell her.
Detangling from the hug, I give her a small smile. “I promise I’m okay, it’s just been a long couple of days.”
Understatement of the century.
I lift my coffee cup to my lips, taking a drink when she sighs and goes to remove her shoes at the door. When she finishes, she takes her own cup to the couch, drops down, then grabs the remote and turns on the TV like she lives here. Each sip I take, warms my insides and helps to calm my frayed nerves.
“I’m going to go take a shower and get dressed. I'll be right back.” I announce, heading to my room.
“Girl please, take a nap too. I was gonna hang out here all day until work anyway. You have your shift tonight too and need the rest. Go. I’ll be here.” She smiles, steadily flipping through infomercials and sitcom reruns.
My heart fills and my shoulders sag in relief. Not only is Ashlynn the most outgoing person I’ve ever met, but she’s truly a low maintenance friend. Not that anyone would think that meeting her, she’s always so bubbly. At first, she used to try to drag me out of the house to go shopping, restaurants, concerts, you name it. But I think she quickly sensed howuncomfortable it made me. ‘It’s okay. We’ll get there.’ is all she would say, and then opt for dinner here or her apartment. I’ve come a long way since then, but right now I could use the sleep and I love her so much for recognizing it, and refusing to let me feel as if I have to stay up.
Thirty minutes later I step out of the shower, and wipe the fog off of the mirror, catching my pitiful reflection staring back at me. The dark circles around my eyes show just how exhausted I really am. They resemble a raccoon's mask, or maybe even Zoro. My skin is pale, ashen almost, and my lips are so dry they’re near the point of cracking and splitting open.
Ash was right, I really do look like a truck had its way with me.
I quickly dress in some comfortable jammies and open the door to my room, coming to a stop. Ashlynn is laying in the bed on top of the covers with one of my throw blankets over her and a movie quietly playing on the TV.
“Figured I could use a nap too, and the couch sucks to sleep on.” She says as I slide under the covers and pull up the blankets.
I laugh. “Okay but don’t wake me when you get up for work.” It hit me as I was getting dressed how worn out I truly am, and if she accidentally rouses me, I may get worse.
She promises she won’t and I turn to face away from her. My eyes immediately start to close and I succumb to a long, deep sleep.
At least, for a little while.
My eyes fly open and my heart hammers so hard against the inside of my ribs I swear they’re about to crack. The rest of my body responds by keeping my breaths shallow and choppy—uncomfortably alert. The hairson my neck stand at attention, confirming my instincts as the singing burn of eyes staring into me continue to heat my skin.
