Page 144 of Sun-Kissed Fangs
But Maya had withstood all of that. Maya, who was kind anddecent. Who had always treated her like she was precious, when Harper had gone her whole life believing she wasn’t worthy of that type of adoration.
When she’d done all of that, Harper could give her this. Even if she didn’t quite believe it.
“I’m not stupid,” she whispered, her voice retreating as soon as the words were out.
They went against every childhood memory. Against every accepted truth. Against every instance of praise passing her by, because who would celebrate someone whose absolute best was justaverage?
What if that wasn’t true? What if her struggling hadn’t been her fault? How different would her life have been if her parents hadn’t dismissed her as a failure? If they had, even once, seen her as a troubled child in need of help rather than a problem to be fixed?
Maya caressed her chin. “Harper?”
It might be the gentlest way her name had ever been spoken. The most loving noise she’d ever heard, and though she tried answering, she couldn’t. She couldn’t speak at all.
Maya gave her a gentle smile. “You lost your voice. Didn’t you?”
She couldn’t respond. She just sat there, as tears dripped onto her thighs.
“Shake your head yes or no.” Maya closed her hand around Harper’s fingers, intertwining them. “Do you still want to stop?”
Everything inside her was on the verge of collapsing. Maya touching her, holding onto her, might be the only reason it hadn’t yet.
She shook her head.
Maya paused, considering. Then she undid the belt-cuff and tossed it away.
“If you need to stop, tap my skin. I’ll notice. I promise.”
Harper believed her. Down to the very depths of her soul, she believed her. Believed every promise, every kind touch, everyword she’d ever said, be it those voiced just then or in any moment before the present.
“I know this is hard.” Maya guided her closer, a single finger under her chin, drawing their lips together. “Right now, just do whatever you need to do. Even if it is to scream at me, or hit me, or get angry. Feel whatever you need to feel.”
Even if Harper could have spoken, she wouldn’t have known what to say to that. She didn’t know what she was feeling or needed to feel.
Everything seemed so fragile right then. One firm hit would make it all fall apart, and if it did, she wouldn’t know how to put the pieces back together.
But Maya did. The way her hands moved made that obvious. Brushing over her thighs, her waist, her ribs. The sides of her breasts. An exploratory touch, as though it was the first time Harper had ever been touched this intimately.
A choked sob escaped, and she squeezed her eyes shut.
This was too much. Already, it was toomuch. If she let herself feel this pain, it wouldn’t just wreck her. It would swallow her whole, leaving her as a gasping, crying mess.
“Harper, look at me.”
Maya’s voice was still so gentle. Why was itgentle? Why couldn’t she just do this the familiar way, for fucking once?
Why did something that was supposed to be easy have to be this difficult?
She forced her eyes open, finding Maya’s gaze resting on her.
“What do you need right now?”
Too much. Not enough. To make sense of these painful feelings and to understand the true meaning of memories that had suddenly been reframed.
But that was all intangible. Her hands were already seeking her most heart-aching desire.
You.
Harper cupped Maya’s face and kissed her. A hard kiss that tasted of tears. One she whimpered into, as her voice refused to assist.
