Page 42 of The Pact
Because I can’t.
Because if I do, everything would change between Saint and me.
“Okay, fine. I’ve just always thought you had great chemistry with him,” she says.
“That’s because we’re … us. Nothing more.”
“Pres—”
“Alie, no.” My voice comes out sharper than I intend.
Sera hears me and looks up from her latest bubble battle and blinks at us.
I smile at her. “Sorry, Sera.”
She smiles back at me, satisfied that everything is ok.
My sister doesn’t look convinced, but she doesn’t say anything else.
For now, at least.
We leave Bubble Planet twenty minutes later, our family driver taking us back into the city. Sera half asleep on Alie’s shoulder, her tiny hand gripping Alie’s hair, but not pulling. She’s always done that, even when she was a newborn. She would take Alie’s hair in her hand and hold it for hours.
The sun is low, and golds, blues, and pinks scatter across the early fall sky.
“You want to come over for dinner?” Alie asks.
“Thanks, but I think I’ll just head to my place. The Bubble Place sucked all the energy out of me too.”
“Okay, I get it. But if you change your mind, you’re welcome to come over.”
“Thanks, Al.”
I watch Alie and Sera snuggled together.
And even though my thoughts are jumbled, I feel happy.
Because I love my niece so much; it’s crazy. But also because my sister is happy. She’s found something real and worth building a life around. It’s everything I’ve ever wanted for her.
I’m just not sure I’ll ever have what she has.
The one person who makes me feel even close to that is also the person I could never risk losing.
My phone buzzes in my pocket, and I pull it out.
Saint.
It’s like he knew I was thinking about him. Like he knew we were talking about him.
I don’t open the message and lean my head back against the headrest, letting myself imagine what it would be like.
Not the stolen moments we’ve had over the years. Not just the tension that’s nearly out of control since we had sex. And definitely not the memory of his hands and mouth on my body.
But more like … what would it be like to wake up beside him and be more than just his friend? Not to pretend like the chemistry isn’t there. To not have those lines between us.
The thought is intoxicating. And maybe a little terrifying.
He’s more than someone I’m attracted to.
