Page 56 of In Every Lifetime
She exploded, lunging toward me and banging her fists against my chest. “How could you?” she cried. “How could you leave me? Leave us!”
“Sarah, stop,” I urged, but she continued, months—even years—of emotions spilling out at once. I took her wrists in my hands. She wasn’t hurting me, but the violence wasn’t helping. She struggled for a moment but then acquiesced, relaxing into my hold. Her head fell forward, her forehead resting against my chest.
I wrapped my arms around her as she broke into sobs. I held her close, feeling her body shake and holding back my own cries. I had caused this hurt; I knew that. I hoped that someday she would understand why.
“It’s not fair,” she muttered into my chest after her cries had slowed. “Do you know how much it hurt, thinking you didn’t love me anymore?”
She leaned back in my hold, her eyes meeting mine. My hand moved to her cheek, cupping her face in my palm. “I promise you, it didn’t hurt as much as you thinking I didn’t.”
“You really didn’t stop loving me?” she finally asked.
I nodded. “I can’t stop, Sarah. The only way my love for you would stop is if my heart stopped beating. I’ve loved you from the moment I met you, and I will love you until I die. I will love you in every lifetime.” I sighed, letting go of her and stepping back. “I shouldn’t be saying this. Not now.”
She laughed lightly and wiped her eyes with her sleeve. “I guess love confessions and running from your maybe-brother-who’s-crazy don’t go hand in hand.”
I shook my head. “While you make an excellent point, I shouldn’t be confessing my love to you when you’re in a relationship.” Sarah’s eyes went wide as I spoke. “I just couldn’t take another moment of you believing it. I’m sorry you found out this way; I really am.”
Sarah took a steadying breath. “On the topic of lies, I should probably confess something to you.”
My head tilted in question, urging her to continue.
“I’m not actually seeing anyone.”
I swear my brain short-circuited for a moment. “You’re not seeing—Say again?”
“I panicked about sharing a bed. I knew it would mess with my head, and I believed at the time you didn’t love me. You wouldn’t cross any boundaries—or try to—if you thought I was taken. So I lied to protect myself.”
I stared at her for a moment. This was the most ridiculous situation I had ever been in: the two of us hiding in the woods with no shoes on, night approaching, confessing all of our secrets to one another. “You’re single?”
She nodded.
“Unclaimed? Boyfriend-less?”
She nodded again and let out a teary laugh. “Yes, Fai. I’m not seeing anyone. I haven’t seen anyone since… well, you.”
“I—”
Crack.
I was cut off by a flash of lightning and the sudden downpour of rain all around us.
