Page 38 of In Every Lifetime
Fai
My body ached as I stretched under the warm water, letting the shower work through yesterday's stiffness. The hike had been harder than I had let on, and every muscle was happy to remind me of that this morning. It had been worth it, though. It had given Gabriel and me a chance to start finding our footing with each other.
I had never been the best at making friends, choosing to self-isolate the majority of my life. I don’t think I had ever made a real friend on my own. Every person I called a friend had all but forced themselves into my life. Sarah befriended every person she met, Jackie and Oliver could make friends with a broomstick, and Goldie forced her way into my life and refused to leave.
Connecting with Gabriel was a challenge I hadn’t been expecting, but our hike proved it wasn’t impossible. While the majority of what we discussed was surface level, we had a few moments to dive into the nitty gritty of each other’s past. It would take years to fully catch up, but I was feeling hopeful we could do it.
I turned off the shower, drying off my sore muscles before pulling on my clothes for the day and praying to God Gabriel would give me a day to recover physically before suggesting any more hikes. I thought a trip into town could be a good compromise if he wanted to get out of the cabin. For a man who isolated himself in these mountains, he seemed itchy to get out.
He had offered hikes, drives around the property, sightseeing, and a two-hour drive into a bigger town to try some restaurant he was obsessed with. While I was grateful for the suggestions, I was here to get to know him, not galavant around the state.
With my hair still wet, I wandered out of the bathroom and toward the living room where I assumed Sarah was. I had woken up alone, her side cold. When we were married, she woke up before me most days, but often didn’t leave. Well, she would go make a coffee and bring it back to bed and wait while I slept. Most mornings I woke up to her reading over patient files or a new book, an empty mug on the nightstand and a smile on her face.
Waking up today, to her side empty, was a good reminder that she wasn’t mine anymore. She had found someone new.
It was only a matter of time, but it still hurt like a bitch.
I looked around the empty living room, confused. There was evidence of people, a brewed pot of coffee in the kitchen, a few dishes in the sink, and the fireplace roaring. It was the sound of laughter drifting through the closed windows and doors that led my eyes to her. She was sitting on the back porch, a blanket wrapped around her as she and Gabriel laughed.
I was grateful she was giving him a chance.
I moved to join them when the phone in the living room began ringing. I contemplated calling for Gabriel, but I didn’t want to interrupt their conversation, hoping he could make Sarah see who he truly was.
I picked up the phone and settled into one of the living room chairs. "Hello?"
It was quiet for a moment before a familiar voice spoke. “Fai? Is that you?”
She sounded genuinely confused, as though she hadn't been the one to dial. "Jackie?"
“Yeah…” She trailed off, her tone growing suspicious and more reserved. The usual tone she took with me these days. “You’re with Sarah?”
“Yeah, she actually came with me. Did she not tell you?” I asked.
“That liar,” Jackie mumbled under her breath. “You’re telling me she isn’t at a work conference in Montana?”
“Nope. Well, wearein Montana, but not at a work conference,” I explained, trying to keep my voice light.
Jackie James was a lot of things. Firecracker was near the top of the list. She had a way of lighting up a room that was nearly impossible to resist, and a temper that ran hot and fast before burning itself out. She would come back around, usually with an apology and a clearer explanation of what she had actually meant, but you had to be ready for the unfiltered version first, especially when she was angry.
“Why in the world is she in Montana with you?” she asked angrily.
I chose to ignore the venom in her tone. It was better for both of us. I also chose to do something out of character when it came to my recent behavior with Jackie. I told her the truth.
“Sarah came with me because we’re meeting my brother. My brother who wrote to me after our mom died. So… yeah. She came as emotional support.”
Silence. Not even the sound of breathing.
“You have a brother?” she asked quietly.
“Apparently,” I mused. "Younger than you, which is still throwing me. You called me your pseudo dad for long enough that I think I developed a complex."
She laughed. Quietly, briefly, but it was real. "Why did you need my emotional-support-Sarah for that?"
“I’m so calling her that now,” I teased, but I did answer. “I’m still freshly sober, and I was worried. I’m trying to be smart this time around, and coming alone didn’t feel smart. Sarah was really the only one who could come with me—”
“You couldn’t take Goldie. I think this place would fall apart if one of you wasn’t here to keep Oliver and me in line,” she interrupted, but somehow knew what I was going to say anyway. “How long? Have you been sober, I mean?”
I swallowed and stood, moving to pace off the nervous energy. "Seven months now. What are you at?"
