Page 66 of In Every Lifetime
Fai
“Why are you glaring at me?” I asked around a spoonful of cereal.
I had gotten home and immediately fallen asleep on the couch. I hadn’t expected to sleep well, anticipating that my wandering mind would keep me awake. My thoughts were cycling between the brother I thought I had, the truth about Gabriel, my time with Sarah, and what would come next for the two of us. There were too many choices, too many options… too many trains of thought. It felt as though a weight in my stomach pulled at my focus with every other thought. I never imagined I could become this overwhelmed by my own mind… yet here I was.
I had expected my swirling thoughts to keep me awake, or at least grant me a fretful sleep. Yet the moment my head hit the pillow on the couch that I was still calling my bed, I was out.
I woke to Goldie glaring at me from her spot at the kitchen counter. In the fifteen minutes since I’d woken up, she hadn’t spoken a word, but her eyes hadn't left me once.
“Hello?” I asked with a wave, drips of milk from my spoon flying through the air. She just continued to glare and took a sip of her coffee.
Well… fine then.
I wasn’t sure what had her in such a tizzy, but I knew her well enough to know she would eventually break and let me know what I’d done to piss her off. Maybe it was because I hadn’t waited up for her after I got home?
I went back to my cereal, ravenous. In the chaos of the last few days, I had barely eaten. When I was at the height of my addiction, I didn’t eat nearly enough; I used to joke that I drank all my calories. Now, with running helping me stay sober and having a normal appetite again, I was eating like a teenager.
I stopped, my spoon midway to my mouth. I hadn’t thought about drinking once today. It used to be my first thought in the morning. Today—well, today it was of Sarah.
For some, that would feel stupid. For me, I couldn’t remember the last time that had happened.
Well,shit. I laughed lightly, feeling proud of myself, and took another bite.
Goldie just glared harder but finally moved, picking a piece of cereal out of my bowl and flicking it at my forehead, hitting it square on target.
“What the hell?” I murmured as the cereal fell onto the table. “What was that for?”
“For smiling, you jerk,” she mumbled.
I raised my brows. “Seriously? I can’t smile? Will you just let me know what the hell I did so I can apologize and we can move on?”
Goldie had always been unpredictable. It was why I adored her. She was a spitfire, ready to ignite at any moment—you just hoped and prayed the fire wasn’t directed at you. She could bring any man to his knees.
While she had always been unexpected, she had never shocked me to my core—not until today. Her glare slowly morphed; her face dropped, and her eyes filled with tears.
“Whoa,” I muttered, standing and wrapping my arms around her while she sat. She grabbed onto my arm, leaning into me and sobbing.
“You almost died, Fai,” she choked out through the tears. “You can’t do that. You can’t leave me.”
“Hey.” I dropped to a crouch in front of her, pushing the hair out of her face and framing her cheeks with my hands. “I’m okay. I’m here. I’m not going to die, okay? I’m here.”
“But you almost did! Your brother… that man—he could have killed you,” she argued.
“But he didn’t,” I said in a soft voice.
She shook her head. “Yeah, but what about the drinking? What if you relapse and do something stupid, like driving? What if your liver gives out and—poof—you’re gone? You can’t die, Fai.”
“Goldie… is that why you moved me in here?” I asked, the pieces finally clicking into place. When I’d gone to her all those months ago, I half-expected her to show me the door. I had been a crappy friend and a worse boss for years; I deserved it. Instead, she took me in, kept an eye on me, drove me to meetings, and helped me put my life back together.
“You’re the only family I have,” she mumbled, wiping at her tears. “You took me in when I had nothing. You cared for me, gave me something to care about, and people to care about. You’re all I have.”
I smiled sadly, wrapping her in a hug again.
“He does that a lot.”
I looked up to see Jackie leaning in the front doorway. She was watching the two of us, smiling softly.
“Jackie?” I asked, surprised to see her.
