Page 43 of Running
I’ve spent all of my high school years through now being the perfect player, the perfect teammate, the perfect citizen.
Because otherwise, what my dad used to say would hold a kernel of truth.
“You can’t do anything right, Johnson.”Along with much worse variations.
For the last few years, I’ve been able to bat away the echoes of my father’s voice in my head pretty readily. But with Grace, the choice that seems before me is to do right by the two of us or do right by everyone else—and I have zero clue how to reconcile those options.
It’s not like I plan to hurt Grace. That’s the opposite of what I want. But shit happens. We could fight over something legitimate, even. And then Landon would have to pick a side, which no doubt would be Grace’s. Would that ripple across the team?
So, I don’t see how I can cross the line with her. Everything I said to her—it frustrates me to no end, but it still feels like the right thing to do.
Even if it means more lonely nights in this house.
Tomorrow will be a fresh start, I tell myself. The Monday kicking off the regular season.
But, shit, it’s also the week of the auction, which is always a few days before the first game.
The auction means being in the same room as Grace again. It’ll be the first time I’ll have seen her in person since she left my house.
Maybe it will be a kind of exposure therapy?
We’ve texted here and there, keeping our conversations to auction stuff only. I did promise we’d still be friends, so I didn’t want her to feel awkward if she needed me for something.
Being with her in person is going to be…different.
I need to think about somethingelse,anythingelse.
I should call Lainie. As much as it’s been a hectic time for me during pre-season, it’s been even busier for her with starting work again. I’ve been neglecting my check-ins.
Decision made, I ring her, and she picks up quickly.
“Hey, Johnny.” Her voice sounds tired, and I hear the baby squealing in the background.
“Hey, is it a bad time? Want to talk later?”
“No, it’s okay.” I hear the phone shift a little, like she’s placing it somewhere. When she comes back, I’m on speaker. “I’m just making Leo a bottle.”
“Alright, if you’re sure. I wanted to see how you’re doing, now that you’re back at work?”
She sighs. “I’m surviving. The ‘no sleep’ thing is so hard to juggle while also being productive at work. Plus, I have a new supervisor, this twenty-nine-year-old who has an interesting management style.” Sarcasm is dripping off her tongue.
Lainie works in web development for a health care company.
“I can only imagine how hard it all is.” I hear the baby stop making sounds, probably getting his feeding now. “Is there anything I can do to make life easier?”
She laughs. “Want to come be my night nurse? No, you’ve done so much, Johnson. I’m just tired. It’ll get better once Leo sleeps a little more.”
I’m of course more than happy topayfor a night nurse for this phase, but I don’t mention that again—knowing the Samuels women and their inability to accept help. “Where’s Mom?”
“I sent her for a nap. She was spent after taking the early morning shift with Leo and Emma.”
So she’s still suffering too. “Where’s Mark in all this? I’m guessing he takes a shift as well?”
“He’s off playing golf.” Lainie’s tone is curt, and she doesn’t expand on her response. I’d bet a dollar that it’s because she’s rightly pissed at him, but I don’t have anything good to say about that dude myself, so I don’t push things.
“Mama, Mama, let me talk to Unca Jaw-nee,” I hear Emma’s adorable voice say, a little muffled by distance.
“I’ll talk to her, Lainie.”
