Page 66 of Not So Fast
“Think of it this way. The situation with Florian and Emma is confirmation that we made the right decision by not being public. It would open a can of worms that would end up being nothing but a distraction for you. Now you can focus on your race.”
Again, she was right, but he still didn’t like it. Every other driver who had a partner could stroll through the paddock with them hand in hand. Mia wasn’t a world-famous actresslike Emma. Yes, she was building a name for herself within the sport, but would anyone even care after the first day or so?
Then again, he and Mia still hadn’t pinned a label on their relationship beyond admitting that they liked each other. He only knew his feelings for her were strong. The L-word was a persistent presence in his head. But he was okay with going fast and Mia had been clear many times—she had to take things slow.
“You’re right. This allows me to focus on the race. No drama.”
“Just focus on the flow of it. The way you feel when you and Charles are working well together. Visualize that. Looking ahead to a big finish. You qualified great. Now just finish the job.”
“Another P6, though. It’s not enough. It just isn’t. Not for me.”
Just like being friends with Mia wasn’t enough, either. But this wasn’t the time to talk about it. Perhaps they’d have some time after the race and before he took her to the airport.
Mia pulled him into a hug and reassuringly patted his back. “You qualified ahead of Dirk. Again. And don’t think about where you’re starting. Think about where you want to go.”
He drew in another deep breath, trying hard not to think about her leaving tomorrow. He’d have no more of this.
“You’re right. You’re absolutely right.”
Mia released her hold on Xander and he gave her a kiss. The instant it was over, he knew one indisputable fact—what they had was amazing, but it wasn’t enough. He wanted more.
“Thank you. For everything.”
“You’re going to kill it today,” she said. “I can feel it.”
“I’ll see you after the race. Have fun with Freya and Oscar.”
Mia smiled. “I will. See you soon.”
And just like that, she grabbed her bag and was gone.
Xander waited a few minutes before he left, then met up with Isabel at the motorhome entrance.
“How are we doing today?” she asked, handing him a Mega Racing umbrella. Along with things like wearing headphones, an umbrella was a good way to tell any passersby not to bother him. He didn’t have the mental bandwidth for chitchat, autographs, or selfies. It was time for work.
“Ready to get to it.” Xander raised the umbrella above his head.
“Perfect.”
Isabel was his eyes and ears as they moved through the crowded paddock, and Xander kept his sights on the ground so he wouldn’t have to talk to anyone. He bid a silent goodbye to her with a wave, then lowered the umbrella and ducked into the Mega garage. It was a bustle of activity, per usual, and once again, Dirk wore a scowl.
“Good luck today,” Xander said, wanting to keep things cordial.
“I don’t need your encouragement,” Dirk said.
Xander supposed he could understand Dirk’s response since Xander had done better than him in qualifying. But Xander was so tired of this dynamic. Dirk wanted there to be a war between them, but Xander deserved a say in this, too. He’d had enough of the acrimony. It was time to mix things up.
“Dirk, did you know you were my favorite driver when I was a kid?”
Several mechanics took notice with bugged eyes and looks of pure shock.
“Are you making a joke about my age? I’m not old.” Dirkslapped his rock-hard belly with his open palm. “I’ve never been in better shape. I could kick your ass if I had to.”
Xander stepped closer, realizing that the Dirk he’d once idolized and the real Dirk were not the same people. And as much as he wanted to be on a team built on harmony and cooperation, that might not be in the cards.
“It’s not a joke. My dad brought me to Silverstone when I was a kid and we waited hours to see you. You signed a photo for me. I still have it at home. I keep it in my garage with my car gear. I can text you a picture of it sometime if you want.”
“You’re not as good at these mind games as you think you are.” Dirk pulled his balaclava over his head.
