Page 62 of Not So Fast
Mia slid a glance in Xander’s direction. He was busy opening a bottle of wine.
“Uh, yes. Your brother invited me just after Austria.”
“That is so awesome. I’ll be there. I hope we get to see Florian and Emma together. She’s so amazing.”
“Freya’s obsessed with Flemma. Because of course she is,” Oscar said. “I’ll be at the race, too. Not sure about our parents. Mum gets so nervous. It’s hard for her to watch.”
Freya clapped Xander on the back. “We’re super excited, though. You’ve been doing so much better lately. Hopefully, you’ll have a cracking race. Maybe a podium?”
“Maybe a win?” Oscar added.
“Could you imagine a win at the race we’ve all been goingto since we were kids? Your home Grand Prix? How amazing would that be?” The hope in Freya’s voice was unmistakable.
“Don’t get ahead of yourself,” Xander said, his tone strained. He handed Mia a glass of red wine and clinked his glass with hers. “A lot could happen next weekend.”
Mia could see how excitement on the part of Xander’s family could be both lovely and read as nothing but pressure and expectations. It made her think of the way she felt when her mom tried to point her in new and different directions. Maybe her mom hadn’t been suggesting those things to be critical. Maybe Mia was the one being too hard on her mom.
“No matter what happens, we’ll all be there to cheer you on, Xander,” Mia said.
Edward and Audrey soon appeared from upstairs. Audrey, warm and cordial, had put on bright red lipstick and a pretty floral dress that nearly skimmed the floor. And Edward? Well, he was the spitting image of Xander and wearing almost exactly the same thing. He had a similar quiet intensity, too. Mia felt like she was seeing a sneak preview of what Xander would look like in twenty-five years and she had to wonder, would she and Xander still know each other then? Or was he only meant to be a single heavenly chapter of her life?
The thought of him walking the earth and her not calling him or talking to him made her chest ache. It made her eyes sting. She wasn’t sure what she would do without his support. His friendship. He’d carved out a sizable space in her life that would be impossible to fill. And the mere thought of the emptiness that would be left behind? She didn’t dare try to imagine it. It was too sad.
A bottle of wine was opened and after a cursory chat about life as a podcaster in Austin, Texas, they all sat down to eat atthe long rustic wood table in the great room. Mia was struck by one thing as they began passing platters of roast beef, potatoes and roasted carrots, as well as Yorkshire pudding—this reminded her of holiday meals with her mom.
The first few years after Mia’s dad left, her aunt Judy would drive over from San Antonio and the three would celebrate together. On Christmas Eve, her aunt would stay over and sleep on the couch. The sisters would drink a bit too much eggnog, play music and dance around while they prepared dinner. In the morning, Mia would eagerly tear open presents while Judy and Amy sat together, nursing hot cups of coffee, and patiently listening to Mia explain the awesomeness of every gift she received. Those were some of Mia’s best memories. But then the sisters became estranged and it was only Mia and her mom after that. That was the way it was now, and it was still nice, but it wasn’t what it could be.
Sitting in this lovely room with the Bishops, a family who so clearly loved each other, Mia realized that as soon as she returned home, she needed to force the issue between her mom and aunt. Find a way to get them to talk. She missed this family feeling. She knew she had a family, but she longed for the special occasions when they felt connected. Mia’s gut told her that despite the way her mom had acted the morning of the Monaco watch party, her mom missed it, too.
With several glasses of wine in her, Mia finally felt comfortable enough to inject herself into the conversation. “I’d really love to hear about Xander as a kid. Especially when he was in his karting days.”
Xander’s parents looked at each other and smiled, then his mom wiped her mouth and put down the napkin. “You wouldn’t believe it now since he’s so tall, but Xander was actually quite small when he was young. He started karting when he was seven—”
“Six,” his dad corrected her.
“You’re right.” His mom nodded. “He was six.”
“And he was so short his feet couldn’t reach the pedals. Of course, modifying a go-kart is an expensive proposition. I think I worked overtime for more than a month to pay for it.”
Xander reached for Mia’s hand under the table, rubbing his thumb across her knuckles.
“You have to understand,” his mom said, leaning forward and making eye contact with Mia. “Xander loved it so much. Driving was all he talked about. All he wanted to do. The walls of his room were plastered with photos of Formula One drivers. That was always his goal. We couldn’t bring ourselves to say no. So we did everything we could to make it happen, even though we knew it was an incredible long shot. That’s how we ended up where we are today. We couldn’t be any more proud.”
“He beat the odds simply by getting into the sport,” his dad added.
“It really is so impressive.” Mia glanced at Xander and he squeezed her hand under the table.
“It’s not enough to defy those odds,” Xander said. “I want more. I want to be world champion. I won’t be satisfied until I am.”
“There it is. Always the competitor,” his dad said.
“Mum forgot to mention all the weekends Freya and I got dragged to hundreds of races. It was not fun. We hated it so much. Sitting in the stands, freezing our bollocks,” Oscar said.
“Of course, we love going to the big races now, when we can. We love that VIP treatment. You must love that, too, Mia,” Freya added.
“Oh, sure,” Mia said, even though aside from many trips to the paddock club, she hadn’t really had thefullVIP treatment. She’d never gone into the garage to give Xander a good-luck kiss. She’d never walked through the paddock with him, holding hands.
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