Page 60 of Not So Fast
Mia peered into the washing machine drum. There was the evidence—his clothes with her clothes, all mixed together. Her underwear. His. Her dirty socks. His slightly smelly dirty socks.
“I’ve never had this level of intimacy with a man before.”
“Really?”
“Yes. And it’s kind of freaking me out.”
“Why?”
“Because this is not normal.”
“This is the definition of normal. It is literally the most normal thing two people could do.” Decisively, Xander put a cup of detergent into the dispenser, closed it, then very reasonably selected a cold-water cycle and pressed start. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, so just tell me what you’re thinking.”
Oh, no. She was not ready for this. It was happening way too fast, and she had this feeling that if she got honest, she might blow up part of her life. This part, to be exact. The part with Xander in it. The unbelievable fairy tale had to end at some point, right?
“That was the whole point of the mental health journal. You write down your feelings so you can process them and honor them and then you don’t have to say them out loud.”
“Thatwas the point?” Xander cocked his head to one side, his eyes narrowing with deep suspicion. “Mia. Come on. You’re the one who’s always saying whatever the hell comes to mind without thinking about it.”
One million thoughts swam through her mind. They were like ravenous fish in an aquarium at feeding time, making the water churn and bubble.
“What are we doing, Xander? I thought I was just going to fly to England for a few days, we were going to have sex a couple times and then you’d send me on my way to live out my days with some lovely erotic memories of you.”
“Send you on your way? Does that honestly sound like something I would do?”
“I didn’t know you very well then.” Mia looked down at the floor, noticing how tiny her feet were compared to his. “So, no. It doesn’t now.”
Xander placed a single finger under her chin and forced her to look at him. “I’m not good at planning. So I didn’t have some grand scheme in mind when I asked you to come here. But I’m enjoying our time together greatly. That’s why I keep extending it. And I’m thankful you’ve been able to stay.”
Mia’s heart zipped around in her chest at lightning speed. Like an electrified ping-pong ball. “I’m not good at this. With the laundry, and meeting your parents, and the saying of important things out loud.”
“You’re the one who asked what we were doing.”
“And I regret that now.”
“But you still want to know.”
She blew out a breath between pursed lips. “I do.”
“I think you’re searching for certainty. That’s understandable.”
Mia narrowed her stare at him. “That sounds like something I would say. What is even happening right now?”
“Laundry, Mia. Laundry is happening. And for the record, if you want a declaration, I like you. A lot. Probably more than any other human I know. At the moment.”
Whoa.Mia’s head was swimming. “I like you, too. A lot.”
“Probably more than any other human?”
She felt a little weird about that part. Jasmine was her best friend. But the reality was that she and Xander were sharing everything right now, even space in the washing machine.
“Yes.”
“Good. That’s great. Then we’re on the same page.” He put his arm around her shoulder. “Now, fair warning, in a little bit, we will move our laundry into the dryer. Also together. And tonight, we will go to dinner with my family. And somewhere in there, I hope to take off every stitch of your clothesand properly thank you for making me feel better after I had my post-race pity party.”
“Sixth place is nothing to sneeze at,” she said, the tension in her body ebbing as their familiar dynamic returned.
She wasfine. This was fine. Meeting Xander’s family was not a reason to overthink herself into a black hole. And she wouldn’t repeat past mistakes, either. No more blowing up her life. She wanted what she had right now. She was thankful for every minute. She needed to take several deep breaths. And let Xander make her come.
