Page 75 of Not So Fast
“I know us. We’ll start talking or texting and things will get flirtatious or we’ll joke around, and as much as I love those things, it will just cloud your judgment.”
“But I love it when you cloud my judgment.”
He clasped his hands on either side of her head and looked her straight in the eye. “I’m serious, Mia. You are a strong,independent woman with a brain that is unsurpassed. I want you to use that brain to figure out what you want.”
“This is going to be hard.”
“I know. It’ll be hard for both of us.” He leaned in and pressed the softest kiss on her lips, making a silent wish that it wouldn’t be the last. It couldn’t be the last. His heart would shatter if it was. “But we can do difficult things.”
* * *
Jasmine picked Mia up at the airport.
“If I tell you everything, you’re going to be driving around for seven hours,” Mia said as she climbed into the car.
“I saw the tabloid thing.” Jasmine pulled away from the curb. “I gotta say, you and Xander were going for it. Those photos arehot.”
And Mia’s face was hot right now—with embarrassment. “It’s just such a horrid way for people to find out we’re a couple.”
“So it’s official?”
Mia looked out the window at her beloved hometown. “I don’t even know what that means. We haven’t promised each other anything. And we made a pact to not talk at all while I figure out what to do aboutNot So Fast.”
“Wow. Brutal.”
“Actually, it was sort of sweet of him to suggest it. I do need to figure this out on my own. There’s just so much stuff to wade through. Things are such a mess right now.”
“I saw some of what people were saying about you online. I spent about an hour telling people to get a life and fuck off, but then I gave up.”
“Well, it’s gotten worse. I made the mistake of taking my phone out of airplane mode and I got a text from Heather, the woman who started my fan club. She made an officialstatement and wanted me to see it first before she posted it on social.”
“What did it say?”
Mia’s stomach couldn’t even turn sour anymore. She was simply out of stomach acid. As she pulled out her phone, she made the decision to read this piece of bullshit as dispassionately as possible.
“‘Many people have asked me to weigh in on the issue of Mia Neal and Xander Bishop. For the record, at no time did I know they were romantically involved. Technically, Mia did not lie to me, but I believe omission is as bad as lying. She did not tell me the truth. Due to this, and her general unwillingness to communicate with me, I am reluctantly stepping down from my role as president and founder of theNot So Fastfan club effective immediately and will no longer have anything to do with the podcast. I have found so much to love in this community, but Mia has let me down, as well as her fans, and my joy for it is gone.’”
“Oh, my God,” Jasmine groaned. “How much performative bullshit can one person squeeze into a single statement?”
Mia scanned it again. “She feels let down. I did let people down. I let them think I was one thing, when in truth I was becoming another.”
“You are the same person you’ve always been, Mia. You’re still sweet and kind and a good person. You were a voice for the fans, and you can continue to be that. Just because you might not be stuck in the bleachers in Austin like you used to be doesn’t make you less of a fan.”
Mia hadn’t thought about it like that. “I guess that’s true.”
Jasmine shook her head. “It’s amazing how quickly people turn on other people. And Heather’s statement makes methink she wasn’t really in it for the right reasons.Yougot into this for the right reasons. You love F1 and you funneled that intoNot So Fast. End of story.”
Mia let out a relieved sigh. “Thank you. That makes me feel a lot better.”
“Also, if you need someone to run your fan club, I can do it. Until you find someone else.”
“Do I even need a freaking fan club? I’m not sure I do.” She turned back to Jasmine. “Right now, I’m still not sure I want to keep doing the podcast.”
“Please don’t quit, Mia. People love it. People love you.”
“That’s really kind of you to say, but I’m just not sure it’s worth it. But of course, that just brings up the obvious question of what I should do with my life, and nobody wants to deal with that.”
“You’re not wrong, Mia. I love you, but this does seem to be a persistent issue.”
