Page 53 of Not So Fast
Funny how one minute ago she’d been wanting an invitation, and then she got cold feet when one arrived.
“So here’s the thing. Of course I would love to go. I’ve never been to Austria and you know I’m always down for a race. But I really don’t want another repeat of Monza. Would I actually get to see you? The races are no fun by yourself.” She sucked in a breath just to give her brain a bit more oxygen before it overheated. “But I don’t know how we go together and keep our—” Mia realized she’d stumbled into a trap. Emotional quicksand. How, exactly, was she to label what was going on? “—er…romantic entanglement a secret? We’ve already talked about how there was blowback when you bought my ticket to Monza. And I sincerely doubt Isabel would want to deal with whatever the press might say, and Reginald Huff will likely be lurking nearby. Then there’s the simple fact that I’m the podcast person who was mean to you. How’s that going to look?”
“So you admit you were being mean…” He slid her a sly grin.
“I’m serious.”
“I know you are. And I’m just standing here, watching your thought process play out in real time. It’s exhausting. I don’t know how you do it.”
She didn’t know, either, but her mind and mouth were fully engaged now and there was no stopping them. “And I can tell you right now that a decent chunk of my listeners would freak out. I mean, some of them would love it, but there are others who would absolutely criticize me for this. For you. For us. Being together.” She waved her hands back and forth between them. “I hope that doesn’t sound horrible.”
Xander blew out an exasperated breath. “If you don’t want to come to Austria, just say so. I won’t be happy about it, but I can cope.”
When he put it like that, she sounded like an absolute idiot. “I told you I want to go. I do. I’m just looking ahead and laying out the potential pitfalls. The things we need to be aware of.”
“I officially hate that we have to think about any of this.”
“You’re a Formula One driver, Xander. This is part of your job.”
He nodded. “Okay. Here’s what we do. We’ll rent a motorhome rather than stay in a hotel. We’ll be off in the motorhome pen with some of the other drivers. There’s an unspoken rule that we don’t talk about each other’s partners, so that shouldn’t be an issue.”
“You don’t think they’ll talk shit about you if they see me?”
He shrugged. “We’ll be careful. And they’re already talking shit about me.”
That made her stomach sour. “As long as we try our hardest to be quiet about it.”
Xander stepped closer and leaned down until his mouth was right at her ear. “Are you saying no sex? Because you were not quiet this morning, Mia. Not even close.”
Mia swallowed hard, wondering what she was getting herself into, while simultaneously admitting to herself that she would pretty much go anywhere if Xander asked her.
“I’m not saying no sex. But you might need to hold your hand over my mouth.”
He bounced his eyebrows at her. “Challenge accepted.”
Eleven
Today, I feel…
Cautiously hopeful. Mia and I have just arrived at the track in Austria, and she makes me feel like good things are possible. I also feel silly, since I do not understand the purpose of writing in this journal. I’ve written in it every day for over a week now and my mental health is exactly the same as it was before I started.
Mia drew back a curtain and peeked out the window of Xander’s motorhome. “How many other drivers are back here?”
Xander was busy gathering his things for a team meeting. “Depends. Maybe half at the European races. It’s just easier when we’re going from city to city. There’s a lot more privacy back here, too.”
“How much privacy, exactly?” Mia slumped back down on the bench seat. “The other drivers will see me. They’ll seeus, right?”
“I don’t want you to take this the wrong way, but although you are somewhat notorious in the paddock, I don’t know that everyone will recognize you. And all the drivers are so focused on the race weekend, there’s no time for them to think about who’s got a—” Xander realized he’d talked himself into a corner, but then remembered the way Mia had framed their situation “—romantic interest back here.”
“Okay.” Mia pressed her lips together tightly, seeming worried. “And someone like Reginald Huff? He can’t get in here, can he?”
“No. Security is too tight and the drivers despise him.”
“He was already convinced something was going on between us.”
Xander sensed Mia was worried. Again. And although he understood it, so many of these things were beyond their control. “Hopefully, he’s on to a juicier topic. I heard Florian has a new girlfriend. Some famous actress.”
“Famous actress?” Mia blurted. “Who? How do I not know this?” Mia dug out her phone and began tapping away. “Holy crap. He’s dating Emma Taylor-Ross? Wow. She’s stunning.”
