Page 85 of How To Tackle A Crush
“Shocking.”
“Apparently women eventually want you to be an actual human being.”
“And were you?”
I think about that.
“I tried. But we barely knew each other. We were forcing something because of Alfie, not because of us.”
Ava’s voice is very quiet now. “What happened?”
“After he was born, we gave it a few more months. But she was unhappy. I think she realised she didn’t want the life that came with being a footballer’s partner. Or a mum.”
I pause briefly.
“One day she said it wasn’t working. And she was right.”
Ava’s fingers shift slightly against my chest. Not pity. Just presence.
“And Alfie?”
I swallow once before answering.
“She decided she didn’t want to be involved.”
Ava goes very still.
“She just… left?”
“She didn’t disappear dramatically,” I say. “No big fight. No scene. Just… opted out.”
“That must have been hard for you.”
“It was harder imagining what it might mean for him one day,” I admit. “Babies don’t know. Five-year-olds don’t really know. But one day he’ll ask better questions.”
“And what will you say?”
“The truth,” I say. “That she wasn’t a bad person. Just not someone who wanted to be a parent. And that he wasn’t unwanted.”
My voice drops slightly.
“Because he absolutely wasn’t.”
Ava’s eyes soften.
“You’re a very good dad,” she says quietly.
I shake my head slightly. “I just try not to mess him up too badly.”
“That’s the job description of all parents, I think.”
I smile faintly.
She traces a small line on my arm without realising she’s doing it.
“Does he ever ask about her?”
“Sometimes. Mostly practical questions. Where is she? What does she do? Why doesn’t she visit?”
