Page 2 of My Never
“This is fucking pointless.”
“You’re right! Now I am taking the initiative. Get the fuck out of my house!”
“This is my place too!”
“Not any-fucking-more! We’re not married, your name is not on the deed, nor have you paid the majority of themortgage! You JUST started contributing four payments ago! GET. OUT!”
“Where am I supposed to stay tonight?!”
The gall of this man!
“Try Blaire’s! Maybe she’ll be your sugar momma!”
He grabs his boxers, pathetically jerking them up over his hips as if I’ve offended him. I can’t even look at him! I turn and walk toward the door.
“You have five minutes to get the fuck out of this house, and I never want to see your lying face again,” I say through gritted teeth, a cold finality leaching into my every word.
1
Ava
3 Months Ago
Gripping my steering wheel tight, I snap out of the memory of that awful day four years ago when I found Eric and Blaire in my bed. Pulling down my visor, I flip the mirror compartment open, wiping away a smudge of mascara from an errant tear. An angry tear. I get so mad with myself that I still allow his actions and words to affect me so many years later. I look back into the mirror, facing off with the eyes of a woman desperate for a change.
“You are a badass, boss bitch, and no man defines your worth.” I speak through clenched teeth, reminding myself of the woman I once was before Eric. I remind myself of the woman I’m clawing tooth and nail to get back to, but I’m determined to be a better version. A stronger version. I will never let a man control me again without my permission to do so.
Now I just have to somehow portray that girl to the world again. Right now, they see a quiet, shy girl. I’ll admit, I blushpretty easily, but I’m working on it. Those who truly know me know that that is just the initial me you see. Not everyone out there is as bold as Jane or Sydney. I sure do love their fierce spirits and can only hope to muster a fraction of them.
The mild February morning is unusually nice for this time of year. Usually we’re still buried in snow and frigid temps. I’ll take it though. It’s likely going to snap back to icy tundra status any day now.
I pull into the driveway of Colin’s old place, putting on the brake and pushing my ignition button. I step out of the car and am greeted with a warm smile, big brown eyes, and an infectious giggle.
“Yay! You’re the first one here! I just started unloading some boxes. Coffee’s hot!” Holly exclaims, clearly excited for the big day.
“I am so excited to get you officially moved in!” I clap. As we’re stepping into the doorway, the moving truck pulls in followed by Sydney and Colin.
They hop out of the truck and Sydney jumps with glee, rushing over to us.
“I called in reinforcements! They’ll be here soon,” Colin says as he walks up to the front door.
The guy from the moving truck grabs his clipboard from his front seat and shuffles our way.
“So glad you were able to find some extra people to help haul on such short notice! My number two woke up puking, so I left him at the hotel. I’m Craig.” The man reaches out to shake Holly’s hand. She smiles warmly and shakes his hand back.
“We have three more guys that should be here any minute, so this shouldn’t take too long,” Colin informs Craig.
I groan with disdain at the mention of three more guys, knowing automatically that one of them will be someone I had zero urge to interact with today. Colin and Sydney both shooteyes my way, Sydney pressing her lips together between her teeth to bite back laughter.
“I need coffee for this,” I mutter and walk through the front door. I haven’t been in here in years, and the place assaults me with old memories. Memories of Jenna. I exhale heavily and press forward, walking down the short hallway to the kitchen on the right. New memories will be made in this place, and Jenna would approve.
I open up the cupboard and search the mugs for the one I’d like to use. When my eyes land on a hot pink one, I grin and grab it. It’s one of Jenna’s old favorites. After filling it with coffee, I doctor it up the way I like it. I blow on it for a few seconds before taking that tentative first sip to see if it’s to my liking. Perfect. I wonder if Colin would be okay with me keeping this one. As if he heard my thoughts, he enters the kitchen and his eyes zero in on the mug. He blows out a breath, catches my eye, and we share a silent moment reminiscing.
“Would you mind if I kept this mug? I’ll give it a good home,” I ask, giving him a sincere smile. He nods, the corner of his lip tugging up in a smirk before pursing them in thought.
“That would be great. She’d be happy for it to still be used and would love that you’re the one using it. I couldn’t throw it away.”
I reach out and touch his forearm in thanks and solidarity. The hole she left in our lives will never be filled.
