Then she was walking toward the house, and I stood in the driveway until the door closed behind her.
I sat in my truck for a long time after she went inside.
The house is quiet, just a single light on in the living room—Betty’s back from book club, which means Dutch already dropped the boys home. They’ll be in bed by now, worn out from their evening at the clubhouse. Another normal night for a family that is anything but normal.
I’ve held myself back from her for weeks. Kept my hands to myself, kept my voice steady, kept the full weight of what I feel from landing on her all at once. That was the right call. I know it was the right call.
It doesn’t make the wanting easier.
My phone buzzes. Dutch—his second text of the night. The first had come a few hours ago, when he’d dropped the boys back after Betty got home from book club.All good.I’d left it on read.
How’d it go?
I stare at the message for a moment, trying to sum up my evening in a text.
She kissed me.
The response comes immediately:She finally remembering?
No. Just… She kissed me.
That’s something, brother. That’s a hell of a something.
He’s right. It is something. Not closure, not a happy ending, not even close to what we’d once had. But it’s a start.
I look at the house one more time—at the window I know is Lilac’s room, at the home that holds my wife and sons, at the life that is slowly, painfully, beautifully becoming mine again.
I start the truck. Pull out of Betty’s drive. Roll to the end of the street and kill the engine.
Chapter 24
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— Lilac —
Icouldn’t sleep. Every time I closed my eyes, I felt it again—I had leaned forward and kissed him. My mouth against his for a breath. He was warm. That was the first thing I’d registered. The second was the stillness, and then the careful way he wasn’t taking anything I hadn’t given. My hand had come up and pressed flat against his chest just to have something to anchor me. He’d stayed completely still. Not unresponsive, but careful, like he was afraid to startle me. Like he was holding himself back.
I’d felt that. The restraint in him. And it was that, more than anything else, that had made me linger a moment longer than I’d meant to.
When I’d pulled back his eyes were closed. He’d opened them slowly, and whatever was in his expression—I didn’t have a word for it. Reverence wasn’t right. Neither was hunger, though there was that too. It was something older and more careful.
At midnight I gave up and padded to the kitchen for tea. Betty’s house was quiet, the boys long asleep, nothing but the tick of the old grandfather clock breaking the silence.
I was filling the kettle when my phone buzzed.
Colt:Can’t sleep either?
I stared at the message.
How did you know I was awake?
Saw your light come on. I’m parked down the street.
I moved to the kitchen window and peered out. Sure enough, his truck was visible at the corner, headlights off, engine silent.
You’ve been out there this whole time?
Couldn’t make myself leave.