Page 29 of Colt
I’d be there for the boys regardless—school pickups if she’d let me, weekends if she’d allow it, whatever shape she’d accept. If she never let me back in, I’d spend the rest of my life making sure Luca and Knox knew their father showed up. That part wasn’t conditional. That part wasn’t about her at all.
But I wanted her back. I wasn’t going to pretend otherwise, not even to myself, standing alone in the dark with nobody to perform for.
The thing was, I wasn’t a patient man. Never had been. I made decisions and I moved on them, and waiting had always felt like losing ground. Seven years of not knowing where shewas, and I hadn’t even been waiting—I’d been living the lie, thinking she’d walked.
Now I knew. Now I had to stand still and let her come to it in her own time, if she came to it at all.
I looked at the framing going up. Dutch had waited too, in his way. He’d done it badly at first, same as all of us do. But he’d figured out the difference between patience and inertia. Between giving someone space and disappearing on them.
I’d figure it out too.
She’d call when she was ready. And until then I’d be exactly where I’d said I’d be—close enough to matter, far enough back to let her breathe.
Chapter 12
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— Lilac —
I’d been practicing my speech for three days—circling around it, writing notes and throwing them away, rehearsing in the mirror until the words sounded like lies. But nothing could have prepared me for this moment: my sons sitting across from me at the kitchen table, their favorite breakfast—pancakes with chocolate chips, bacon on the side—growing cold as they picked at it, waiting for me to say something.
My hands trembled. I clasped them together in my lap, squeezing until my knuckles ached.
“Boys, I need to talk to you about something important.”
They were already watching me—had been since I sat down. At the sound of my voice, they glanced at each other, one of those wordless twin exchanges I’d never been able to decode—whatever passed between them in that look, it was theirs alone. Then Knox set his fork down carefully, and Luca tilted his head, waiting.
“Is it about the mean man?” Luca asked, his fork hovering mid-air. “Is he coming back?”
“In a way.” I took a deep breath. “You know how you’ve always asked about your daddy? Why he’s not around?”
Knox nodded slowly. Luca’s jaw tightened.
“I always told you I didn’t know where he was. That was true—I didn’t. You remember how I lost some of my memories, before you were born? Some of what I forgot was him. But I’velearned something new.” I reached across the table and took their hands. “That man. The one from the grocery store. His name is Colt. And he’s… he’s your daddy.”
“No.” Luca yanked his hand away. “No. He’s mean and scary. I hate him. He’s not our daddy. A daddy wouldn’t do that.”
“Luca—”
“He made you cry!” Luca was on his feet now, his breakfast forgotten. “That’s not a daddy. Daddies are supposed to be nice. Daddies are supposed to protect you!”
“You’re right.” I forced my voice steady. “Daddies are supposed to do those things. And Colt… he made a mistake. A lot of mistakes. He was told a lie about me, and he acted badly because he was hurt.”
“I don’t care.” Luca’s lower lip trembled, his eyes going glassy. “He hurt you.”
“He did. And he’s very sorry about it.” I stood and moved toward him slowly, giving him space to retreat if he needed to. My hands ached to hold him, to protect him from this hurt I was causing. “Baby, I’m not saying you have to like him. I’m just telling you the truth—he’s your daddy, and he wants to meet you. Properly. To show you he’s not really a bad man.”
“What if he is?” Knox spoke up for the first time, his voice small. “What if he hurts us?”
“He won’t. I’ll be there the whole time, and Grandma Betty. We won’t let anything happen to you.” I pulled both boys into my arms, holding them close. “But if you don’t want to see him, we won’t. This is your choice. Okay?”
Luca buried his face in my shoulder. Knox was quiet, his small body tense against mine.
“Can we think about it?” Knox asked finally.
“Of course, baby. Take all the time you need.”
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