Page 168 of Rush
"You're going to be okay," she says.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah, we both are."
I close my eyes and let myself feel it, the weight of her against me, the reality of the baby growing inside her.
Tomorrow, I'll deal with Ciara. I'll set boundaries that should have been set months ago. I'll talk to Pyro and figure out what this means for the club. Tomorrow, I'll start figuring out how to be a father.
But tonight, I'm just going to hold Everly and let myself feel the weight of what we're building.
A family. Not the broken, violent family I grew up in, but something better, something worth fighting for.
"I promise I'll be good to you both," I say quietly.
"I know you will."
"I promise I'll never hurt either of you the way my father hurt me."
"I know, Rush. I trust you."
"I promise I'll keep choosing you even when I'm scared, I promise I'll keep choosing you too, and I promise our kid will never be afraid of me."
She lifts her head and looks at me. Her eyes are shining with tears.
"That's the best promise you could make."
I kiss her forehead. "I mean it."
"I know you do."
We settle back down and I hold her close, my hand on her stomach, and for the first time in my life I'm not afraid of the future.
I'm ready to step into it. I’m ready to be the man Everly sees when she looks at me, ready to be the father our child deserves. I’m choosing to build instead of destroy, choosing love over fear, choosing to break the cycle that started with my father and ends with me. And that's enough. It has to be enough.
Because I'm not running, I'm not backing down, I'm not letting fear win. I'm choosing Everly, I'm choosing our baby, I'm choosing to be better than where I came from.
And I'm going to spend every day for the rest of my life proving that choice was the right one.
22
RUSH
The waiting room at the clinic is too quiet. I hate hospitals, hate anything that reminds me of being out of control. Everly's sitting beside me. Her leg is bouncing and I can tell she's nervous.
"You okay?" I ask.
"Yeah, just anxious."
"About what?"
"Everything. What if something's wrong? What if there's no heartbeat?"
I take her hand. "Then we deal with it, but nothing's going to be wrong."
"You don't know that."
"No, but worrying about it isn't going to help."
