Page 179 of Rush

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"Yeah."

She reaches across the table and grabs my hand. "How are you feeling?"

"Terrified, excited, overwhelmed."

"And Rush?"

"He's... processing. But he's happy and so am I."

Maya squeezes my hand. "That's huge."

"Yeah, it is."

"Are you okay? Really okay?"

The question makes my eyes sting because it's the first time someone's asked about me, not just about Rush or the baby.

"I don't know," I admit. "I'm scared of losing myself in all of this. Of becoming just Rush's girlfriend or the baby's mom instead of Everly."

"You won't."

"How do you know?"

"Because you're too stubborn to disappear and because you're asking the question. That means you're aware of the risk."

I take a sip of my coffee. "What if I'm not ready for this?"

"Nobody's ever ready."

"But what if I fuck it up?"

Maya's expression softens. "Can I tell you something?"

"Yeah."

"My mom left when I was eight. Just walked out one day and never came back."

I didn't know that.

"My dad tried to hold it together but he was drowning. He loved me, but he was damaged by what she did, and I spent my whole childhood trying to fix him."

"Maya—"

"I'm telling you this because I know what it's like to love someone who's broken. And I know what it's like to be terrified you're not enough to save them."

I swallow hard, unsure what to say, but I need to know. "What did you do?"

"I learned that I couldn't save him. I could love him, I could be there, but I couldn't fix what she broke. That was his work, not mine."

The words land hard because they feel true.

"Rush isn't your responsibility to fix," Maya continues. "He's your partner. You can support him but you can't carry all his trauma for him."

"I know."

"Do you? Because from where I'm sitting, you're trying to be his anchor while drowning yourself."

"I'm not drowning."

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