Page 176 of Rush
"Yeah, really happy."
She leans into me and I wrap my arms around her. "Me too," she says.
"You sure? Because your dad's still pissed, we're having a baby in seven months, and everything's about to change."
"I'm sure. I've never been more sure of anything."
I kiss the top of her head. "Good."
We stand there for a while just holding each other while the clubhouse buzzes around us. The fear is still there, humming under my skin. I'm still terrified of becoming my father, still worried I'll fuck this up somehow, but the fear doesn't own me anymore. It doesn't control my choices or dictate my future.
I'm choosing this life, choosing Everly, choosing our baby, choosing the brotherhood around us, and that choice feels solid in a way nothing else ever has.
"Rush?" Everly says quietly.
"Yeah?"
"I'm glad you stayed."
"Me too."
"I'm glad you didn't run when I told you I was pregnant."
"I wasn't going to run. I'm done running from things that scare me."
"Good, because I need you here."
"I'm not going anywhere."
She tilts her head up and kisses me. "I love you."
"I love you too."
"Even though everything's about to get crazy?"
"Especially because everything's about to get crazy."
She laughs and the sound makes my chest warm.
This is it. This is what I want. Not the violence I was raised in. Not the silence I’ve been hiding inside. This—a woman who chose me, a family I’m building instead of running from. I want to be the man Everly thinks I am. I want to be the father our kid deserves.
I’m not clean of my past. I’m not healed. The scars are still there. But I’m trying like hell, and for the first time, that feels like it might be enough to start with.
Tank appears with beers and hands one to me.
"To Rush," he says, raising his bottle. "Finally getting his shit together."
"Fuck off," I say without heat.
"To the baby," Gráinne adds.
"To family," Pyro says.
Everyone raises their drinks and I look around at the faces surrounding us. These people chose me. They saw my past and my darkness and they chose me anyway.
Everly fits against me like she belongs here. Like she always has. The noise of the clubhouse fades, and for a moment it’s just us, her warmth, and the quiet knowledge that there’s a life growing inside her that belongs to both of us.
I spent most of my life waiting for things to fall apart, waiting for the moment I’d ruin everything. But standing here, with her in my arms and our future taking shape between us, I realize I may actually get to keep, her, us. Everly looks up at me and smiles, and for the first time I let myself believe her.
