Page 71 of Z For Butterfly Man
I take my seat and open the books. “Don’t stress. You’re getting much better.”
“Thanks to you. Just a heads up, we should probably head to your place in an hour. Declan is being deployed tomorrow, and he’s having people over later. It’s gonna get loud.”
“Oh.” My stomach drops. “We can go to the library.”
“It’s closed for the day. Plumbing issues. I already checked.”
“Then just skip today. You should party with your brother.”
“What about the exam?”
“We’ll catch up tomorrow.”
“You will, but I need all the practice I can get. C’mon, I’ll be there the whole time. She won’t try anything with me there.”
“Do you know what today is?”
He shrugs. “Tuesday?”
“It’s my birthday, Mason.”
“Oh, Reagan, I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay. Really. I don’t expect you to remember it or anything, but she is the worst on my birthday. I do my best to avoid her, so…”
“All the more reason I should be there with you.” He sits across from me, his expression serious. “You shouldn’t have to deal with her alone. Not today. Not any day.”
Where did I hear this before? I rub my fingers over my mouth. “But I do. For eighteen more months.”
“Give me a chance here, Reagan.”
“A chance for what? It’s not your responsibility.” My gaze hovers over the equations. “Or now that it’s officially legal to date me, you want to show the MC you’re taking care of your ol’lady?”
His head snaps up. His eyes are wide with alarm.
I can’t help it. I laugh at his expression. “Relax. It’s a joke.”
“That ain’t funny.”
“Kind of is.” It doesn’t hurt me anymore that boys don’t see me as a girlfriend, especially Mason. It’s me who sees him as a brother and nothing more. The truth is, after Shane, after understanding what he’s done to me, the thought of being with anyone—touching anyone, letting anyone touch me—makes my skin crawl. He ruined it all before I even understood what it was supposed to be. “But I mean it, if you want me to go to the club, tell them we’ve been together because we’ve been in love, not because you were grooming me or whatever they think, I’ll do it.”
Mason goes very still. “What?”
“That’s why you’ve been helping me, right? Showing up at the hospital, giving me a place to crash. You want back in. Youwant them to see you weren’t the bad guy. That we’re…together together. That it’s real and serious.”
“Reagan, no, I—”
“It’s okay. Really.” I cut him off before he can finish the apology forming on his lips. “I get it. It’s not a bad thing. I’m totally cool with it. You didn’t deserve what happened to you because of me. You’ve been good to me, Mason. Better than anyone has in a long time. If lying to the club gets you your life back, I’ll do it, with pleasure.”
He shakes his head. “That’s not why I’m helping you.”
“Please, Mason,” I stare him in the eye, “don’t lie to me.” I’m so fucking tired of lies. “You don’t have to. I’ve just told you I’m totally cool with it and happy to help.”
“Okay, maybe that’s part of it, was part of it, but I’m helping you because you’re a kid who got dealt a shit hand, and someone should’ve stepped in a long time ago.”
“You tried, and I was…”
“A child who didn’t know better.” His voice is rough with anger.
