Page 28 of Unbridled Fire
Reaching for his hand, I slid my palm against his. “I’m not asking you to stay for a drink, Leo.”
His nostrils flared slightly as his gaze intensified, causing the tiny hairs on my arms to prickle with arousal.
Releasing my hand, he took a step back. “I’m not interested in being a placeholder for someone else, Katia. I don’t do casual sex.”
My features contorted. “A placeholder? What the hell does that mean?”
A muscle ticked in his jaw. “We’re very different people. I want to help you, but other than that, we don’t fit.”
“Don’t talk in circles to me,” I said, shaking my head. “If you don’t want to be with me because I used to strip, that’s fine, but be a man and say it.”
Sighing, he planted his hands on his hips. “I don’t care about that.”
Lifting my chin, I crossed my arms. “I think you do.”
“Do I love it?” he asked, lifting his arms. “No. But I understand that people do what’s necessary. I admire you for working your way out of that situation and becoming an accountant.”
“I know you’re not trying to be a judgmental prick, so I’m going to let that slide. I actually liked dancing and never felt any shame in that profession.”
His shoulders deflated. “Good for you. Look, I’m obviously fucking up whatever you were trying to do here, so I think I should go.”
My arm snaked out, grabbing his wrist. Inching toward the wall, I pressed my back against it and drew him closer.
“We’re both botching this pretty badly,” I said, forming a conciliatory grin. “So maybe we should stop talking and just tryfeelingfor a second.” Lifting his hand, I pressed it to my heart, forcing him to feel the strained beating. “Do you feel that?” I whispered. “I don’t think it’s ever beat that fast for anyone.”
Doubt entered his gaze, and anger welled deep within.
“Don’t do that,” I said, shaking my head. “Strippers aren’t prostitutes. I know you think less of me for stripping, but I’ve barely had any sexual partners. I don’t trust men, and I resent you for looking down on me—”
“I don’t,” he interjected.
“Yes, you do. You assume a lot of things about me, Leo, and it needs to stop.” I pressed his hand into my chest. “For once, instead of assuming, can’t you just feel?”
His fingers curled into my chest, and a slow, yearning breath left his lips.
“I know you don’t like that I was with Michael,” I continued, “but I can’t change the past.”
His eyes narrowed. “Honestly, Katia, I fucking hate it. I hate that he pays for this place, and I hate that you work for his organization. Most of all, I hate that you chose him and never even looked my way. Like I said, I don’t want to be a placeholder, and I don’t like being chosen last.”
Compassion swamped me at the hurt that simmered in his eyes. I’d never meant to hurt him, and he was such a good man. I just hadn’tseenhim all those years ago when we first met, and it was a huge oversight on my part.
“I get that,” I said, my voice raspy. “And I’m sorry. I truly am.”
A muscle ticked in his jaw, but he remained silent.
“I don’t want to make this about Michael, but I need you to know that our relationship wasn’t about love. It was aboutcomfort. He always loved Bianca, and I accepted that.”
Leo’s eyebrows drew together. “You deserve more than that.”
“That’s all I wanted at that point in my life,” I said, willing him to understand. “And I think I never looked at you that way because you represented something I wasn’t ready for.” I cupped his face, my heart aching when he closed his eyes, his expression filled with indecision and anguish.
“Look at me, Leo,” I whispered, my breath fluttering when he opened his eyes and stared into my soul. “You represent something important, and I feel things for you that are...overwhelming... In a good way.” I clarified, wondering if I was making any sense. “You can believe me or not, but it’s true. I honestly don’t understand it, because it’s so new for me, but I also don’t want to toss it away because we’re both too stubborn to act on it.”
His warm breath washed over me as his palm absorbed my rampant heartbeat.
“I don’t want you to hold my past against me,” I continued softly. “I hope you can forgive me and realize I was doing the best I could. I haven’t had the easiest life, in case you’re not aware.”
Contrition filled his expression as his features softened. “I know. You’ve lost so much, and I can understand why you don’t trust men. I’m sorry I assumed. I just...fuck, Katia. I’ve wanted you for so long, and I convinced myself it couldn’t happen.”
