Page 48 of Wild Devotion
But underneath all that was something worse. Something tearing a hole through my heart.
The woman I’d been consumed by was carrying the one thing I’d always wanted. A family. A future with someone. A life that mattered because it was shared.
And I’d fucked it up. Instead of holding her tighter and telling her I wanted her even more, I'd walked away like every other man who'd failed her.
I don’t want to be your friend.
The words had been true. They were still true. But I’d handed her a rejection the same moment she’d handed me her deepest vulnerability. How the fuck could I undo that?
“Will you stop brooding and get us some drinks?” Chantel materialized beside me, her heels bringing her almost to my height, her witch hat tilted at an angle that was more fashion statement than costume. “You’re killing the vibe.”
“I’m not in the mood for a party.”
“I know. That’s why I dragged you here.” She scanned the room like she was looking for someone. “I’ll take a glass of whatever red they have open. And merde, Caleb, try to look like you’re having a good time.”
She cut through the crowd with the authority of a woman who expected people to move for her—because they usually did—and I headed for the bar.
Zane was slammed at the far end, his hands moving in a practiced blur, pouring drinks and charming customers. Most of whom were women.
Jeremy was working the near end, considerably less busy. I didn’t like the guy, but getting Chantel’s wine without a twenty-minute wait made dealing with him worth it.
I found an open spot at his end beside a girl in bunny ears. She couldn’t have been more than nineteen. Blonde, nervous, the costume making her look even younger. She was leaning away from Jeremy, who was reaching across the bar, his fingers trailing up her arm.
“Come on, sweetheart,” he said, his voice dripping with sleazy entitlement. “You shouldn’t have to get your own drinks looking like that. Let me pay for this one.”
Her giggle was the most uncomfortable sound I’d ever heard.
“Actually,” I said, stepping closer. “This round’s on me. Plus, a glass of red and whatever you’ve got on tap.”
The girl turned to me, breath catching. But my eyes were locked on Jeremy and the look of pure venom he shot my way.
I didn’t fucking blink.
He backed off, but I watched his hands the entire time he poured, because a guy who touched a stranger without permission wasn’t above tampering with a drink. When he handed them over, I nodded for the girl to take hers and then steered her away with my hand between her shoulder blades.
“I’m sorry if that was forward,” I said, bending closer so she could hear me. “But he wasn’t going to stop on his own. Stay close to your friends tonight.”
“Thank you.” She moved closer, her body relaxing and face tilting up. “You’re really nice.”
Her mouth was inches from mine. My hand was still on her back. And that was the exact moment Zadie appeared.
She was standing a few feet away, serving tray pressed against her side, her other hand at the base of her throat. She stared at me with her brow furrowed and her mouth in a hard line.
Our eyes met, and the room dropped away.
All I saw was her. The determination, the hurt, the fight she carried every single day. She’d survived things that should have broken her. And right now, she was looking at me like I’d just confirmed every terrible thing she believed about men.
Her eyes widened sharply, like she realized I could see past her defenses. Like she knew she couldn’t hide from me.
Then her hand jerked from her throat to her mouth, and she ran.
She moved fast, weaving through the crowd toward the back hallway. I was following before my brain caught up, the bunny girl forgotten.
The break room door was swinging shut as I reached it. Jeremy shouted something behind me, but I pushed through without breaking stride.
The room was empty. There was a desk to the left, the couch straight ahead, and the muffled sound of retching from behind the bathroom door.
“Zadie?” I pressed my hand flat against the wood.
