Page 10 of Wild Devotion
It didn’t matter how attractive I found him or how grounded and self-assured he was. Whatever happened between us—a real connection or an alcohol-induced lapse in judgment—it was a mistake. One I couldn’t afford.
As quietly as possible, I made my way out of bed and swiped my pants off the floor. Tiptoeing to the door, I looked back to make sure I hadn’t woken him.
Big mistake. I kept promising myself I wouldn’t make any more, but fuck, I was hopeless.
He’d rolled onto his back, one arm flung above his head, his face turned toward the spot I’d been lying. He was lean and edgy, a thin chain resting against his collarbone, small gold hoops in each ear, and a tattoo trailing down his forearm. Yet somehow, even with the ink and the earrings and the messy hair and the jaw that could cut glass, he looked honest and caring in his sleep. Perfectly constructed to make me fall for him.
But he looked a hell of a lot younger, too. Maybe it was the hair that had fallen across his forehead or his clean-shaven face. Or maybe it was just my guilt. I had enough of it stored away.
With that guilt as my fuel, I slipped out of the room, shutting the door behind me.
I needed Chantel. She was the only person who could talk me off a ledge like this—the same way she’d talked me through every other disaster I’d brought on myself. After Sean had left me the first time, she’d been the one to pull me out of my dark spiral.
It was the same kind of darkness she’d clawed herself out of only months before we met. We’d both dated assholes. That was the foundation of our entire friendship.
The difference was, Chantel had been smart enough to ditch hers. I’d let mine come back.
She’d warned me and then stood by me anyway. Even when she wasn’t happy about it, even when she could see exactly how it would end, she never walked away. Chantel knew everything about me. Every ugly, humiliating detail.
She’d always had my back, and I wasn’t about to start hiding things from her now.
I crept upstairs, trying to avoid the steps that creaked, and called out softly before stepping into Chantel’s space. Her bed was made, the white duvet smooth and untouched, everything in its usual pristine order. She hadn’t come home.
Where the hell was she?
Back downstairs, I ducked into my room, fumbled for my phone, and dialed her number.
“Morning,” she answered, her voice way too loud. “How shitty are you feeling?”
“I think I might have slept with your cousin.”
Her laughter exploded in my ear, cranking up both the guilt and the pounding in my skull.
“Why are you laughing? It’s not funny.”
“Oh, cocotte…yes, it is.” I could practically hear her wiping tears. “Trust me, with the condition you were in, it definitely didn’t happen.”
“You don’t know that.” I sank onto the bed I’d already started thinking of as mine. “I have a very distinct memory of licking his neck. I’m pretty sure I didn’t dream it. Well, mostly sure anyway. And I woke up in the other bedroom this morning.”
“So?”
“So...” I stared at the closed door, picturing the sleeping man just across the hall. “He was in bed with me.”
Her laughter resumed, clearly at my expense.
Normally, making Chantel laugh would’ve been the highlight of my day. When she was happy, I was happy. But right now, I felt like I was on the wrong side of a very sick and twisted joke.
And it was pissing me off.
“Chantel,” I hissed, keeping my voice low in case he could hear me through the walls. “Stop laughing at me and tell me if I should worry about him. Please.”
“I’m laughing because I can guarantee you, without a single shred of doubt, you did not have sex with Caleb. I don’t doubt that you probably tried, but he’s an angel. He wouldn’t have slept with you when you were wasted. Not unless you somehow convinced him to get drunk with you.”
“I can’t remember, but I know I kissed him, and it wasn’t one-sided.” I ran my toes over the thick area rug, willing myself to focus on anything other than my churning stomach.
“Mon dieu, then I have no idea what happened between the two of you, and I’m not sure I want to.”
“God, I know…I’m sorry.”
