Page 62 of Toxic Attraction
"No! If I tell him, he'll know I've been lying this whole time. Know the debt story was bullshit. He'll kill me, Tash. Or worse."
"Worse than watching your brother get tortured?"
I don't have an answer for that.
"Twenty-four hours," I whisper. "I have twenty-four hours to figure this out, or Ethan loses fingers."
"I'm sorry, Val. I'm so sorry."
She hangs up, and I'm alone again.
Alone with impossible choices and no good options, and the knowledge that whatever I decide, I'll hate myself for it.
I don't sleep.
Can't sleep. Just lie in bed staring at the ceiling, playing out scenarios that all end in blood.
Send the schedule: Lev dies. Mila loses her father. I live with that guilt forever.
Don't send it: Ethan gets tortured. Maybe dies. Mom loses her son. I live with that guilt forever.
Tell Lev: He kills me for lying. Or hands me over to Mikhail. Or something worse.
Run: Patrick finds me. Kills my whole family. Probably kills me too.
There's no way out.
No solution where everyone lives.
I'm trapped in a nightmare with no exit.
At 6:04 AM, I give up on sleep and get ready for the day. Put on my uniform. Braid my hair. Try to make my face look like I haven't been crying for over three hours.
It doesn't work.
My eyes are red and swollen. My face is blotchy. I look exactly like someone whose world is ending.
Perfect.
I go through the motions. Make coffee. Take care of Mila—braid her hair while she chatters about a dream she had, and Ihave to force myself to smile and nod and pretend my heart isn't shattering.
Lev appears at breakfast. Our eyes meet across the table, and something hot and dangerous passes between us.
He doesn't say anything. Just looks at me like he's remembering last night. Like he's planning tonight.
And my traitorous body responds. Heat pooling low. Aching for his touch despite everything.
I'm so fucked up. My brother is being tortured, and all I can think about is Lev's hands on me.
The day drags. Every minute feels like an hour. The deadline ticking closer.
At 8:00 PM, after Mila's in bed, someone knocks on my door.
I know who it is before I open it.
Lev stands there, still in his shirt and slacks from whatever business he handled today. His eyes are dark and hungry.
"Come with me."
