Page 28 of Toxic Attraction
And I will.
It's just a matter of time and pressure.
I corner her again two days later. Kitchen this time, late at night when she's getting water.
She sees me enter and her hand jerks, water sloshing over the rim of her glass.
"Can't sleep?" I ask conversationally.
"I—no. Just thirsty."
"Mmm." I move to the refrigerator, pulling out a bottle of vodka from the back. Her eyes track my movements. "Want some? Helps with insomnia."
"I don't drink."
"Liar." I pour two fingers into a glass. "Everyone drinks. It's just a question of how much and why."
She doesn't answer. Just stands there clutching her water glass like a lifeline.
I cross to her slowly. She backs up until her hips hit the counter.
"You're scared of me." Not a question. Observation.
"No, I'm—"
"Yes, you are." I take a drink, never breaking eye contact. "And you should be. But that's not why your hands are shaking right now."
"I don't know what you mean."
"Yes, you do." I set my glass down on the counter beside her, close enough that my arm brushes hers. She jerks away from the contact. "Your body knows even if your mind won't admit it yet."
"I should go—"
"Stay." Not a request. An order.
She stays. Frozen in place. Prey instinct overriding flight response.
"Tell me something, Valerie." I turn to face her fully, one hand coming up to rest on the counter behind her. Caging her again. "When you close your eyes at night, what do you see?"
"I don't—"
"The gun? The way I looked at you? The moment you thought you were going to die?"
Her breath catches, and tears gather in her eyes.
"Or do you see something else?" I lean closer, voice dropping. "Something that scares you more than dying?"
"Stop." It comes out as a whisper.
"Why? Because it's true?" My eyes drop to her mouth, watching her lips tremble. "Because you're terrified that some part of youlikedhaving my attention, even with a gun to your head?"
"No." But there's no conviction in it.
"Liar." My hand comes up to her face, thumb brushing across her jaw. She flinches but doesn't pull away. "You want to know what I think?"
She shakes her head, but her eyes say yes.
"I think you've spent your whole life being invisible. Safe. Boring. And then I saw you. Really saw you. And for one second, you forgot to be afraid and remembered what it felt like to bealive."
